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Dutch Category 1: God’s Sovereignty in Forming Life
These verses speak to the profound mystery and divine artistry involved in the creation of a human person, calling us to a posture of awe and surrender.
Psalm 139:13-14
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Reflection: This is the heart’s cry of a person who feels deeply and intimately known. To be “knit together” is a tender, personal act. It moves us from viewing a child as a product to be specified toward seeing them as a masterpiece of divine love. The emotional weight here is in the word “wonderfully,” which asks us to find our joy not in a preference fulfilled, but in the sheer miracle that a person exists at all.
Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
Reflection: This verse stretches our understanding of identity beyond the biological. It suggests a person’s story begins in the heart of God even before their physical beginning. To intervene with a preference for a boy or a girl is to risk overlooking the unique, pre-ordained purpose God has already woven into that soul, a purpose that has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with His divine calling.
Isaiah 44:2
“This is what the Lord says— he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid, Jacob, my servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.”
Reflection: The connection between God as Creator and God as Helper is deeply comforting. The same hands that form a life are the hands that will sustain it. This challenges the fear that might drive a desire for a specific gender—fear of disappointment, of inadequacy, of an unknown future. It invites us to trust that the God who forms the child will also provide the grace to raise that child.
Job 31:15
“Did not he who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?”
Reflection: Job’s profound question cultivates a deep sense of shared humanity and empathy. It confronts the part of our heart that creates hierarchies of value. When we feel a preference for one gender over another, this verse gently asks us to consider if we are placing a condition on our love that God Himself does not place. It connects our own sacred origin story to every other person’s.
Psalm 127:3
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”
Reflection: This reshapes our entire perspective on parenthood. A heritage is something you receive, not something you design. It is a gift, not a purchase. This truth brings a profound sense of peace. When we see a child as a gift, our primary emotional response is gratitude, which frees us from the anxiety and striving that comes with trying to control the nature of the gift.
Genesis 29:31
“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive.”
Reflection: Here, God’s creative power is an act of profound compassion. He intervenes on behalf of the unloved, the devalued. In a culture that prized sons, God often blessed women who felt like failures with children. This reveals a God who sees our hidden pains and societal pressures, and His actions often subvert those very pressures, reminding us that His economy of blessing is not the same as ours.
Isaiah 49:1
“Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name.”
Reflection: The dignity of a person is rooted in God’s calling and naming them before they are even a visible presence in the world. This is an incredible source of security and worth. To have a name spoken by God is to have an identity that transcends gender, appearance, or ability. It challenges our impulse to define a child’s value by a characteristic we desire for them.
Category 2: The Intrinsic Value of Every Person
These passages dismantle any basis for valuing one gender over another by rooting human worth in the image of God and His impartial love.
1 Samuel 16:7
“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”
Reflection: This is a powerful corrective to all our human systems of valuation. We are drawn to externals—strength, beauty, and yes, even gender. God gently redirects our gaze inward. True worth, true potential, resides in the heart. A desire to select a child’s gender is, in a way, the ultimate focus on outward appearance, and this verse calls us to a higher, more loving way of seeing.
Galatians 3:28
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Reflection: This is a revolutionary declaration of identity. In Christ, the social, ethnic, and gender-based divisions that cause so much pain and pride are rendered meaningless as primary identifiers. Our ultimate belonging is in Him. This frees us from the emotional burden of needing a child to be one thing or another to secure our own status or fulfill a dream. Their truest identity, and ours, is “in Christ.”
Genesis 1:27
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Reflection: The image of God in humanity is not located in maleness or femaleness alone, but in the beautiful reality of both. Humanity, in its fullness, requires both. To elevate one over the other is to misunderstand the very nature of the imago Dei. It brings a sense of wholeness to see that God’s reflection is fully and equally present in both our sons and our daughters.
Romans 12:2
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Reflection: The pressure to have a son to carry on a name or a daughter to fulfill a specific emotional role is a powerful “pattern of this world.” This verse is a call to inner freedom. The renewal of the mind involves letting go of these cultural scripts and anxieties, which allows our hearts to align with God’s will, which is always rooted in love for the person, not the category.
Job 10:8-9
“‘Your hands shaped me and made me. Will you now turn and destroy me? Remember that you molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again?’”
Reflection: Job’s plea evokes the feeling of being a precious, fragile, and intentional creation. The metaphor of being molded like clay by a master potter is intimate. It counters the sterile, consumeristic mindset that can creep into reproductive choices. A soul that feels “molded” by God is more likely to trust the Potter’s design for their own child, seeing them as art, not an accessory.
Zechariah 12:1
“The Lord, who stretches out the heavens, who lays the foundation of the earth, and who forms the human spirit within a person, declares…”
Reflection: This verse places the forming of a human spirit on par with the creation of the cosmos. It fills the heart with awe. The internal, unseen world of a single person—their spirit—is an act of God as grand as the stars. How could we then feel that one “spirit” (male) is preferable to another “spirit” (female), when both are fashioned by the same cosmic God?
Category 3: Parenthood as Humble Stewardship
This group of verses focuses on the posture of the human heart, contrasting the anxiety of control with the peace of entrusting our deepest desires to God.
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Reflection: The desire to control outcomes, like a child’s gender, stems from “leaning on our own understanding”—a deep-seated belief that we know what is best for our happiness. This verse offers a profound release from that burden. Trusting God feels like an exhale, a letting go of the need to manage every detail of life, which opens us up to the unexpected joys He has planned.
James 4:14-15
“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’”
Reflection: This is a humbling reality check that soothes the anxious, controlling heart. We pretend we have power over the future, but our grasp is fragile. Acknowledging this isn’t fatalistic; it’s liberating. It frees us to receive each day and each person as a gift, holding our plans loosely and our gratitude tightly, finding peace in “If it is the Lord’s will.”
1 Samuel 1:27-28
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”
Reflection: Hannah’s profound act of stewardship models the healthiest emotional journey of a parent. She desperately desired a child, prayed for him, and upon receiving him, immediately recognized that he was not truly hers to possess. This act of “giving him back” is the ultimate expression of trust, freeing both parent and child from the crushing weight of expectation.
Matthew 6:27
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
Reflection: Jesus’ question cuts to the core of our anxiety. Worrying about the gender of a child, or any other outcome we cannot control, is emotionally and spiritually exhausting. It accomplishes nothing. This verse is not a scolding, but a gentle invitation to lay down the heavy, useless tool of worry and instead pick up the light yoke of trust.
1 Corinthians 4:7
“For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?”
Reflection: This verse dismantles the pride that can subtly underpin our preferences. The desire for a child of a particular gender can be connected to our ego—what it says about us, our family, our legacy. But here we are reminded that everything is a gift. A spirit of humility and gratitude for whatever we receive dissolves the need to boast in or control the specifics of the gift.
Proverbs 16:9
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Reflection: There is a deep peace in understanding this divine and human partnership. We can have our hopes, dreams, and plans—that is a natural part of our humanity. But surrendering the final outcome to God allows us to hold those plans with an open hand. It allows us to plan with wisdom, but to accept what comes with grace, trusting that His established steps are ultimately for our good.
Category 4: Male and Female in God’s Design
These verses celebrate the distinct and complementary nature of men and women, affirming the goodness of God’s design in creating both.
Genesis 5:1-2
“…When God created mankind, he made them in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And he named them ‘Mankind’ when they were created.”
Reflection: The blessing of God is poured out on “male and female” together. They are named collectively as “Mankind.” This reinforces that the human project, blessed by God, requires both. To reject or prefer one is to devalue half of a blessed pair, half of the complete picture of humanity as God named and intended it.
1 Peter 3:7
“…treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Reflection: In a deeply patriarchal world, this command was radical. It explicitly names woman as a co-heir of the “gracious gift of life.” There is no junior inheritance in the kingdom of God. Both man and woman are full inheritors of God’s grace. This spiritual equality provides a powerful emotional and moral argument against any form of gender preference.
Numbers 27:6-7
“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘What Zelophehad’s daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father’s relatives and give their father’s inheritance to them.’”
Reflection: Here we see God Himself intervening to uphold the value and rights of daughters in a culture that would have dismissed them. This is not just a legal ruling; it’s a revelation of God’s heart. He is a father to the fatherless and a defender of those the world might overlook. This is a profound comfort to any parent who might fear having “only” daughters in a world that subtly prefers sons.
Proverbs 31:30
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Reflection: This verse reorients our entire value system for women, and by extension, all people. It moves the focus from the external and temporary to the internal and eternal. Fearing the Lord—a heart posture of reverent trust—is the source of true worth. This directly challenges any cultural or personal preference for one gender over another, as a heart that fears the Lord can be cultivated in any person.
Ephesians 5:21
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Reflection: Though often used to discuss marriage, this principle of mutual submission is a beautiful model for all Christian relationships. It dismantles hierarchy. Instead of a power dynamic, it calls for a love dynamic. In a family, this means parents and children, brothers and sisters, are called to honor and serve one another, creating an emotional environment where gender-based roles or values have no place to take root.
