What Does the Bible Say About Sexuality for Single Christians?

What does the Bible say about sexuality for single Christians?

The Scriptures offer us powerful guidance on sexuality for those who are unmarried. At the heart of this teaching is the recognition that our sexuality is a gift from God, to be cherished and expressed within the covenant of marriage. As we read in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, the apostle Paul affirms that singleness can be a special calling and gift, writing: “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

This passage reminds us that singleness can be a blessed state, allowing for undivided devotion to the Lord. Yet it also acknowledges the reality of sexual desire, which finds its proper expression in marriage. For those who are single, whether by circumstance or calling, the Bible calls us to a life of chastity and self-control.

The Song of Solomon celebrates the beauty of sexual love within marriage, while also counseling us in Song of Solomon 2:7, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” This wisdom encourages us to guard our hearts and bodies, waiting for God’s timing.

Jesus himself speaks of some who “have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:12), affirming that singleness can be a holy vocation. At the same time, we are reminded in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and we are to honor God with our bodies. This applies to all believers, married or single.

How can I honor God with my body and mind while single?

Honoring God with our bodies and minds is a lifelong journey, one that takes on particular significance in seasons of singleness. Let us reflect on how we might glorify our Creator in our wholeness as embodied beings.

We must recognize that our bodies are sacred gifts from God. As Saint Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” This powerful truth should shape our approach to physical health, sexual purity, and the stewardship of our bodies.

To honor God with our bodies, we must care for them as precious vessels. This means attending to our physical health through proper nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate rest. When we nurture our bodies, we express gratitude for the gift of life and enhance our ability to serve God and others.

In matters of sexuality, honoring God involves practicing chastity and self-control. This does not mean denying our sexuality, but rather channeling our desires in ways that align with God’s design. We can cultivate healthy, non-sexual relationships that fulfill our need for intimacy and connection. By setting appropriate boundaries and guarding our hearts, we protect ourselves and others from the pain of sexual sin.

Honoring God with our minds is equally crucial. We are called to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). This involves filling our minds with that which is pure, lovely, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). We can do this through regular study of Scripture, engagement with uplifting literature and media, and cultivating a rich prayer life.

We honor God by using our intellectual gifts in service to others and for the advancement of His kingdom. Whether through our work, studies, or volunteer efforts, we can offer our mental faculties as a living sacrifice to God.

Let us not forget, that honoring God with our bodies and minds also means embracing rest and Sabbath. In our culture of constant activity, taking time for genuine rest and reflection is a countercultural act that acknowledges our dependence on God.

Finally, we honor God by cultivating gratitude for the gift of our bodies and minds, even with their limitations and imperfections. When we thank God for our embodied existence, we affirm His good creation and open ourselves to His transforming work in our lives (Ross, 1989, pp. 7–27).

Is it sinful to have sexual desires as a single person?

Let us approach this question with gentleness and understanding, for it touches on a deeply human experience. The short answer is no, it is not sinful to have sexual desires as a single person. These desires are a natural part of our human nature, created by God Himself.

When God created humanity, He declared all of His creation, including our bodies and their functions, to be “very good” (Genesis 1:31). Our sexuality, including our capacity for sexual desire, is part of this good creation. It is a gift from God, designed to draw us towards intimacy, love, and the mystery of new life within the covenant of marriage.

But we must distinguish between having sexual desires and acting upon them in ways that go against God‘s design. As the apostle Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”

The challenge for single Christians is not to eliminate these desires, which would be neither possible nor desirable, but to manage them in a way that honors God and respects the dignity of ourselves and others. This requires self-control, which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

It is important to remember that Jesus Himself, who was fully human as well as fully divine, experienced temptation in all ways as we do, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). This includes sexual temptation. The presence of temptation or desire is not itself sinful; it is how we respond to it that matters.

When we experience sexual desires, we can channel these feelings into prayer, asking God for the grace to remain pure in thought and action. We can also sublimate these energies into creative pursuits, service to others, and deepening our relationship with God.

We should not feel shame about having these desires. Shame can lead to unhealthy repression or acting out. Instead, we can acknowledge our feelings honestly before God, trusting in His mercy and grace to help us navigate this aspect of our humanity.

For those who find themselves struggling intensely with sexual desires, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a trusted spiritual advisor or counselor. Sometimes, what presents as sexual frustration may be rooted in deeper needs for intimacy, acceptance, or healing.

What are healthy ways to cope with sexual frustration?

The experience of sexual frustration is a common and challenging aspect of the single life. Yet, with God’s grace and wisdom, we can find healthy ways to cope that honor both our humanity and our commitment to holiness. Let us explore some approaches that can help us navigate these waters with faith and integrity.

We must anchor ourselves in prayer and spiritual practices. As Saint Paul advises in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” By bringing our frustrations and desires before God, we open ourselves to His comfort, guidance, and transforming power.

Physical exercise can be a powerful tool for managing sexual frustration. Regular physical activity not only improves our overall health but also helps to channel our energies in positive ways. As we care for the bodies God has given us, we can find release for pent-up tensions and cultivate a sense of well-being that extends to our emotional and spiritual lives.

Engaging in meaningful work and service to others can also provide healthy outlets for our energies. When we focus on using our gifts to bless others and contribute to God’s kingdom, we often find that our personal frustrations diminish in light of a greater purpose. As Jesus taught us, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).

Cultivating deep, non-romantic friendships is another vital way to cope with sexual frustration. God created us for community, and while these relationships do not fulfill sexual desires, they can meet many of our needs for intimacy, understanding, and belonging. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

Creative pursuits can also provide healthy outlets for our passions. Whether through art, music, writing, or other forms of expression, we can channel our energies into life-giving activities that reflect the creative nature of our God.

It is also important to be mindful of the media we consume and the environments we place ourselves in. By avoiding situations and content that unnecessarily stoke our sexual desires, we can reduce the intensity of our frustrations. As Proverbs 4:23 advises, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

For some, professional counseling or spiritual direction may be beneficial in addressing underlying issues that contribute to sexual frustration. There is no shame in seeking help; , it can be a courageous step towards healing and growth.

Finally, let us remember that our ultimate fulfillment comes not from the satisfaction of our sexual desires, but from our relationship with God. As Saint Augustine famously wrote, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” By deepening our intimacy with God, we can find a peace and joy that transcends our earthly frustrations.

In all these ways, we can cope with sexual frustration in a manner that honors God, respects ourselves and others, and contributes to our growth in holiness. May the Lord bless you and keep you as you navigate this challenging aspect of the single life (Park et al., 2020, pp. 741–752; Zacchilli et al., 2024).

How can I maintain purity in thought and action?

The pursuit of purity in thought and action is a noble and challenging endeavor, one that requires constant vigilance and reliance on God’s grace. Let us reflect on how we might cultivate this purity in our lives, drawing strength from Scripture and the wisdom of our faith.

We must recognize that purity begins in the mind. As Proverbs 4:23 wisely counsels, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Our thoughts shape our actions, and so we must be intentional about what we allow to occupy our minds. This means being selective about the media we consume, the conversations we engage in, and the company we keep. As Saint Paul exhorts us in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Prayer and meditation on Scripture are powerful tools for maintaining purity. By regularly immersing ourselves in God’s Word, we align our thoughts with His truth and strengthen our resolve to live in a manner pleasing to Him. As the Psalmist declares, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11). Let us make time each day for quiet reflection and communion with God, allowing His Spirit to renew our minds and purify our hearts.

Accountability is another crucial aspect of maintaining purity. We are not meant to walk this journey alone. Finding trusted friends or mentors with whom we can be honest about our struggles and who will encourage us in our pursuit of holiness can make a major difference. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

Practical steps in our daily lives can also support our commitment to purity. This might include setting boundaries in our relationships, being mindful of how we dress and present ourselves, and avoiding situations that we know may tempt us to compromise our values. While these actions alone cannot guarantee purity, they can create an environment that supports our spiritual goals.

It is important to remember, that maintaining purity is not about perfection, but about progress. We will stumble at times, but God’s grace is always sufficient. When we fall, let us quickly turn to the Lord in repentance, trusting in His forgiveness and renewing our commitment to purity. As 1 John 1:9 assures us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Let us not view purity merely as a list of prohibitions, but as a positive embrace of God’s design for our sexuality and relationships. Purity allows us to see others as whole persons, created in God’s image, rather than objects of desire. It frees us to love authentically and to experience the joy of living in harmony with God’s will.

Finally, maintaining purity requires a continual surrender to the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. As we yield ourselves to God, He shapes our desires and empowers us to live in a manner that honors Him. Let us pray daily for the fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) and for the strength to resist temptation.

May the Lord bless you and keep you as you strive for purity in thought and action. Remember always that you are deeply loved by God, and that His grace is sufficient for every challenge you face in this journey towards holiness (Ademiluka, 2021; Frances, 2017, pp. 31–37; Nyaundi, 2021).

What’s the purpose of sexuality if I’m not married?

This question touches upon a powerful truth about our human nature. Sexuality is not merely a physical act, but a fundamental aspect of who we are as beings created in the image of God. It is a gift that reflects the very nature of our Creator – a God who is love, who exists in perfect communion, and who desires intimacy with His creation.

Even for those who are not married, sexuality serves several important purposes:

It reminds us of our fundamental need for connection and intimacy. This longing points us towards the ultimate fulfillment of that need – our relationship with God. As St. Augustine famously said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” Our sexuality can be a powerful reminder of this spiritual truth.

Sexuality shapes our identity and how we relate to others. It influences how we express love, affection, and care in all our relationships, not just romantic ones. Learning to navigate these feelings in a godly way can help us grow in virtue and self-control.

For those called to celibacy, embracing their sexuality becomes an opportunity for a powerful spiritual witness. By choosing to channel their sexual energies into service, prayer, and devotion to God, they offer a powerful testimony to the sufficiency of God’s love.

Our sexuality can be a source of creativity and generativity, even outside of marriage and procreation. It can inspire art, music, poetry, and acts of service that bring beauty and love into the world.

Lastly, the experience of unfulfilled sexual desire can cultivate in us a deeper empathy for others who suffer and long for fulfillment. It can make us more compassionate and understanding towards all who experience lack or longing in their lives.

Remember, that God does not waste any aspect of our human experience. Even in seasons of singleness or celibacy, our sexuality remains a gift – one that can draw us closer to God, help us grow in holiness, and enable us to love others more deeply.

How do I deal with loneliness and the desire for intimacy?

The experience of loneliness and the yearning for intimacy are deeply human feelings, ones that our Lord Jesus himself knew during His time on earth. Remember how He sought the company of His disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane, asking them to stay awake with Him in His hour of need. Even God incarnate desired the comfort of human companionship.

We must recognize that these feelings are not sinful in themselves. They are a reflection of how we are made – in the image of a relational God who exists in perfect communion as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Our longing for connection is, at its core, a longing for God.

Here are some ways to navigate these challenging emotions:

1. Deepen your relationship with God: Turn to prayer, not just as a duty, but as an intimate conversation with a loving Father. Immerse yourself in Scripture, allowing God’s words to speak directly to your heart. In the silence of adoration, allow yourself to be loved by God.
2. Cultivate meaningful friendships: While romantic relationships are one form of intimacy, they are not the only form. Invest in deep, platonic friendships. Share your joys and sorrows, your hopes and fears with trusted companions. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
3. Serve others: Paradoxically, one of the best ways to overcome loneliness is to focus on the needs of others. In giving of ourselves, we often receive far more than we give. Look for opportunities to serve in your church or community.
4. Practice self-care: Loneliness can sometimes lead us to neglect ourselves. Remember that you are precious in God’s eyes. Take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
5. Embrace your season of life: Singleness, whether temporary or permanent, is not a waiting room for life to begin. It is a valid and valuable state of life with its own gifts and opportunities. Ask God to show you the unique ways you can serve Him and others in this season.
6. Seek help when needed: If loneliness becomes overwhelming or leads to depression, do not hesitate to seek professional help. There is no shame in this; it is an act of self-love and stewardship of the life God has given you.

Remember, that you are never truly alone. As Jesus promised, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Your ultimate worth and identity come not from your relationship status, but from being a beloved child of God.

Are there biblical examples of godly singles I can learn from?

The pages of Sacred Scripture are filled with examples of men and women who, though unmarried, lived lives of powerful faith and service to God. These individuals can serve as beacons of inspiration for those navigating the path of Christian singleness today.

Let us first consider our Lord Jesus Christ himself. Though fully human, Jesus remained unmarried throughout His earthly life. His example shows us that a life of celibacy can be one of immense fruitfulness, love, and purpose. Jesus’ singleness did not diminish His capacity for deep relationships, as we see in His friendships with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, and His beloved disciple John.

The Apostle Paul is another powerful example. In 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, he writes, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am.” Paul saw his singleness as a gift that allowed him to devote himself fully to the spread of the Gospel.

We must not forget Mary Magdalene, a woman of great faith and devotion. Though not explicitly described as single, she is portrayed as an independent woman who followed Jesus, supported His ministry, and was the first to witness His resurrection. Her life demonstrates how singleness can be a platform for powerful spiritual intimacy with Christ.

The prophet Jeremiah was commanded by God to remain unmarried as a sign to the people (Jeremiah 16:1-4). His obedience in this difficult calling is a testament to the power of surrendering our desires to God’s will.

In the Old Testament, we find Daniel and his companions – young men who remained faithful to God in a foreign land. Their singleness allowed them to fully devote themselves to God’s service, even in the face of great trials.

The prophetess Anna, mentioned in Luke’s Gospel, was a widow who had devoted herself to worship, fasting, and prayer in the temple for many years. Her faithfulness was rewarded with the joy of seeing the infant Jesus.

These examples teach us several important lessons:

1. Singleness can be a calling, not just a default state or a waiting period.
2. A single life can be one of great purpose, impact, and spiritual intimacy with God.
3. Singleness does not preclude deep, meaningful relationships with others.

Faithfulness in singleness often requires courage and trust in God’s plan.

Whether your singleness is a temporary season or a lifelong calling, know that you are in good company. These biblical figures show us that a life dedicated to God, regardless of marital status, can be one of immense value and powerful impact.

What boundaries should Christian singles set when dating?

The journey of dating as a Christian single is one that requires wisdom, discernment, and a steadfast commitment to honoring God in all aspects of life. Setting appropriate boundaries is not about restricting love, but about creating a safe and holy space in which love can flourish according to God’s design.

We must remember that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This truth should guide all our decisions in dating relationships. Physical boundaries are crucial, not just to avoid sin, but to protect the dignity and sanctity of both individuals involved.

Here are some important boundaries to consider:

1. Physical Boundaries: While expressions of affection are natural in a developing relationship, it’s important to avoid situations that may lead to sexual temptation. This might mean limiting physical touch, avoiding being alone in private settings, and committing to sexual purity before marriage. Remember, “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
2. Emotional Boundaries: Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Be cautious about sharing your deepest feelings and vulnerabilities too quickly. Emotional intimacy should develop gradually, in parallel with commitment.
3. Spiritual Boundaries: Your relationship with God should always come first. Don’t compromise your spiritual practices or beliefs for the sake of a relationship. Pray together, but also maintain your individual prayer life.
4. Time Boundaries: While it’s natural to want to spend a lot of time with someone you’re dating, it’s important to maintain balance. Don’t neglect your other relationships, responsibilities, or personal growth.
5. Financial Boundaries: Be wise in how you share expenses and avoid becoming financially entangled before marriage. Each person should maintain their financial independence.
6. Communication Boundaries: Be honest and transparent, but also respectful. Avoid manipulative or controlling behavior. Learn to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly and lovingly.
7. Social Media Boundaries: In our digital age, it’s important to discuss how you’ll present your relationship online. Agree on what is appropriate to share and what should remain private.

Future Expectations: Be clear about your intentions and expectations for the relationship. Discuss important topics like faith, values, and long-term goals early on to ensure you’re compatible.

Remember, that these boundaries are not meant to stifle love, but to allow it to grow in a healthy, God-honoring way. They should be discussed openly and agreed upon mutually. Be willing to respect each other’s boundaries, even if they differ from your own.

It’s also important to remember that we are all imperfect beings, prone to mistakes. If boundaries are crossed, approach the situation with grace, forgiveness, and a commitment to learning and growing together.

Lastly, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from trusted mentors, pastoral counselors, or mature Christian couples. They can offer valuable insights and support as you navigate the complexities of Christian dating.

May the Lord grant you wisdom as you seek to honor Him in your relationships. May your dating experiences be characterized by mutual respect, genuine love, and a shared commitment to growing closer to Christ.

How can the church better support and minister to single adults?

This question touches upon a vital aspect of our Christian community. The Church, as the Body of Christ, is called to embrace and nurture all its members, regardless of their state in life. Yet, too often, our single brothers and sisters may feel overlooked or marginalized within our faith communities.

To better support and minister to single adults, the Church must first recognize the inherent dignity and value of the single vocation. Singleness, whether temporary or permanent, is not a lesser state, but a unique calling with its own graces and challenges. As St. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 7, both marriage and singleness are gifts from God, each with its own purpose in building up the Kingdom.

Here are some ways the Church can better minister to single adults:

1. Inclusive Language and Preaching: Pastors and church leaders should be mindful to include examples and applications that speak to single adults in their homilies and teachings. The assumption that everyone is or should be married can alienate single members.
2. Leadership Opportunities: Encourage and empower single adults to take on leadership roles within the church. Their unique perspectives and often greater availability can be tremendous assets to the community.
3. Small Groups and Ministries: Offer small groups and ministries specifically for single adults. These can provide spaces for fellowship, spiritual growth, and mutual support among those in similar life stages.
4. Intergenerational Community: While having spaces specifically for singles is important, it’s equally crucial to foster intergenerational relationships. Single adults should be integrated into the broader church family, not segregated.
5. Pastoral Care: Ensure that pastoral care and counseling services are available and sensitive to the unique challenges faced by single adults, such as loneliness, societal pressures, or questions about vocation.
6. Celebrate Milestones: Churches often celebrate weddings and baptisms, but we should also find ways to recognize and celebrate important milestones in the lives of single adults – new jobs, ministries, or personal achievements.
7. Address Sexuality and Relationships: Offer teachings and resources that address sexuality, dating, and relationships from a Christian perspective, acknowledging the reality of these aspects of life for single adults.
8. Service Opportunities: Create service opportunities that are accessible to single adults, recognizing that they may have different availability and resources than married couples or families.
9. Hospitality: Encourage church families to practice hospitality by inviting single members into their homes, especially during holidays or other times when loneliness may be particularly acute.
10. Vocational Discernment: Provide resources and support for vocational discernment, helping single adults explore whether they are called to marriage, consecrated single life, or religious life.
11. Challenge Stereotypes: Actively work to challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about single adults within the church community.

Prayer and Liturgy: Include prayers for single adults in the liturgy and encourage the community to pray for and with their single brothers and sisters.

Remember, that the Church is a family of families, and single adults are integral members of this family. By embracing and empowering our single brothers and sisters, we enrich our entire community and more fully reflect the diverse beauty of the Body of Christ.

Let us pray for the wisdom and grace to create truly inclusive communities where all members, regardless of their state in life, can flourish and grow in faith, hope, and love. May our churches be places where every person feels valued, supported, and empowered to live out their unique calling in Christ.

Bibliography:

Al-khalili, R., & Al-Shalibi, N. (2012).