Bible Study: What Does the Bible Say About True Love?

How does the Bible define true love?

The Bible, in its vast web of stories, teachings, and poetry, offers us a multifaceted understanding of true love. At its core, biblical love is not merely an emotion or feeling, but a selfless, sacrificial commitment to the good of another.  This is seen in the many examples of love throughout the Bible, from the faithful commitment of Ruth to Naomi, to the sacrificial love of Jesus for humanity. In the biblical perspective on romantic love, we are called to love our partners with the same selflessness and commitment, always seeking their good above our own. This challenges us to shift our focus from what we can get out of a relationship to what we can give, ultimately leading to a deeper and more fulfilling love.

The Apostle Paul provides perhaps the most eloquent and comprehensive description of love in 1 Corinthians 13, often called the “love chapter.” He tells us that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). This passage beautifully illustrates that true love is characterized by patience, kindness, humility, and forgiveness.

Our Lord Jesus Christ teaches us that the greatest commandments are to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). This shows us that true love encompasses both our relationship with God and our relationships with others, forming the foundation of all Christian ethics and morality.

The Bible also emphasizes that love is not passive, but active and sacrificial. As John writes, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3:16). True love, then, is willing to sacrifice for the beloved, just as Christ sacrificed for us.

Biblical love is unconditional and enduring. It is not based on the worthiness of the recipient or the benefits one might receive in return. As Paul reminds us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This divine love serves as our model and inspiration.

The Bible defines true love as a selfless, active, and enduring commitment to the well-being of others, rooted in our love for God and reflecting His unconditional love for us. It is a love that transforms us and calls us to a higher way of living in relationship with God and our fellow human beings.

How is God’s love for us the model for true love?

God’s love is unconditional and unmerited. As the Apostle John beautifully expresses, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10). God’s love is not dependent on our worthiness or our reciprocation. It is freely given, even when we are at our most unlovable. This teaches us that true love is not based on the qualities or actions of the beloved, but on the choice of the one who loves.

Secondly, God’s love is sacrificial and self-giving. The ultimate demonstration of this is found in the incarnation, life, and death of Jesus Christ. As Paul writes, “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9). This sacrificial nature of divine love challenges us to move beyond self-interest in our own loving relationships.

God’s love is constant and faithful. Throughout the Old Testament, we see God’s unwavering commitment to His covenant with Israel, despite their frequent unfaithfulness. This steadfast love, or “hesed” in Hebrew, is a model for the enduring nature of true love, especially in the context of marriage and lifelong commitments.

God’s love is also transformative. It does not leave us as we are, but calls us to growth and holiness. As Paul explains, “God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5). This aspect of divine love teaches us that true love seeks the best for the beloved, even when it requires change or challenges.

Finally, God’s love is inclusive and universal. Jesus taught us to love not only our neighbors but also our enemies (Matthew 5:44). This expansive love challenges us to extend our circle of care and concern beyond those who are easy to love.

In all these ways, God’s love for us sets the standard for true love. It is unconditional, sacrificial, constant, transformative, and inclusive. As we grow in our understanding and experience of God’s love, we are empowered and called to reflect this love in our relationships with others. 

Let us remember, dear brothers and sisters, that we love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). May we continually look to God’s perfect love as our model and source of strength as we strive to love one another more fully and authentically.

How can we cultivate biblical love in our relationships?

We must root ourselves deeply in God’s love. As Jesus taught us, “Remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love” (John 15:9-10). By spending time in prayer, meditation on Scripture, and participation in the sacraments, we open ourselves to experience God’s love more fully. This divine love then becomes the wellspring from which our love for others flows.

Secondly, we must practice humility and self-examination. True biblical love requires us to look honestly at ourselves, acknowledging our faults and shortcomings. As Saint Paul reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). This humility allows us to approach our relationships with a spirit of service rather than self-interest.

We must actively practice forgiveness and seek reconciliation. Our Lord Jesus emphasized this repeatedly, teaching us to forgive “not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). Forgiveness is not easy, but it is essential for maintaining loving relationships in a fallen world. It requires us to let go of our right to retribution and to actively seek the restoration of broken relationships.

We must also strive to cultivate empathy and compassion. Jesus consistently demonstrated compassion for those around him, being “moved with compassion” by their needs (Matthew 9:36). By making an effort to understand others’ perspectives and feelings, we can respond to them with greater love and kindness.

We should seek to practice sacrificial giving. True biblical love is not merely a feeling, but an action. As John writes, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18). This might involve giving of our time, resources, or comfort for the sake of others.

It is also crucial that we surround ourselves with a community of faith. The early Christians “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). In community, we can encourage one another, hold each other accountable, and practice love in tangible ways.

Finally, we must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit. Cultivating biblical love is not something we can achieve through our own efforts alone. As Paul tells us, love is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). We need to continually seek the Spirit’s guidance and empowerment in our relationships.

Remember, that cultivating biblical love is a process. It requires patience, perseverance, and grace – both with others and with ourselves. As we strive to grow in love, let us take heart in the promise that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

What’s the difference between worldly love and godly love?

Worldly love, often portrayed in popular culture and media, tends to be self-centered and conditional. It is frequently based on emotions, physical attraction, or personal gain. As such, it can be fickle and unstable, changing with circumstances or when the object of love no longer meets one’s expectations or desires. The Apostle John warns us about this kind of love, saying, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them” (1 John 2:15).

In contrast, godly love, as exemplified by God’s love for us and taught by Christ, is selfless, unconditional, and enduring. It is not merely a feeling, but a conscious choice and commitment to seek the highest good for the other, regardless of personal cost or benefit. As Paul beautifully describes in 1 Corinthians 13:7, godly love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Worldly love often seeks to possess or control the beloved, driven by jealousy or insecurity. It may lead to codependency or manipulation. Godly love, But respects the freedom and dignity of the other. It seeks to nurture and support growth, even when that growth might lead the beloved in unexpected directions. As Saint Paul reminds us, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).

Another key difference lies in the source and sustainability of these loves. Worldly love relies primarily on human effort and emotion, which can be exhausted or overwhelmed by life’s challenges. Godly love, on the other hand, is rooted in and sustained by God’s infinite love. As John writes, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). This divine source provides a wellspring of strength and renewal, enabling us to love even when it is difficult or seemingly impossible from a human perspective.

Worldly love often seeks immediate gratification and personal happiness as its primary goal. While not inherently wrong, this focus can lead to selfishness and a lack of commitment when relationships become challenging. Godly love, But is oriented towards eternal values and the spiritual well-being of both oneself and the beloved. It is willing to sacrifice temporary comfort or pleasure for the sake of higher goods, as Christ demonstrated in His sacrificial love for us.

Worldly love tends to be exclusive and limited in its scope. It may extend to family and friends but often struggles to embrace those who are different or perceived as enemies. Godly love, as taught by Jesus, extends even to our enemies and those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). It reflects the inclusive and universal nature of God’s love for all humanity.

Lastly, the fruits of these two types of love differ significantly. Worldly love, while potentially bringing temporary happiness, can often lead to disappointment, hurt, and broken relationships when it fails to meet our expectations. Godly love, even when it involves suffering or sacrifice, ultimately leads to joy, peace, and spiritual growth. As Paul tells us, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).

How does true love relate to commitment and covenant?

At its core, true love involves a deep, abiding commitment to the beloved. It is not merely a fleeting emotion or a temporary arrangement, but a steadfast dedication to the good of the other. This commitment reflects the very nature of God’s love for us. As the prophet Jeremiah proclaims, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3). God’s love is constant and unwavering, setting the standard for our own loving commitments.

The concept of covenant further illuminates the nature of true love. In Scripture, we see God repeatedly establishing covenants with His people – with Noah, Abraham, Moses, and ultimately the new covenant in Christ. These covenants are not mere contracts, but sacred bonds of relationship, characterized by mutual commitment and faithfulness. Similarly, true love in human relationships is covenantal in nature. It involves a solemn promise, a giving of oneself to the other in a bond that transcends mere feeling or convenience.

Marriage, in particular, exemplifies this covenantal nature of love. As we read in the book of Malachi, “The Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant” (Malachi 2:14). Here, we see that the marital relationship is not just a personal arrangement, but a covenant witnessed by God Himself. This elevates the commitment of marriage to a sacred level, reflecting the covenant between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31-32).

True love’s commitment and covenantal nature provide stability and depth to relationships. In a world where relationships are often treated as disposable, true love stands firm in the face of challenges and changes. As we read in the Song of Songs, “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away” (Song of Songs 8:7). This steadfastness allows love to grow and mature over time, weathering the storms of life and emerging stronger.

Commitment and covenant in love reflect the very image of God in which we are created. The Trinity itself is a communion of Persons in an eternal covenant of love. When we commit ourselves in love to others, we participate in and reflect this divine reality. As John writes, “Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (1 John 4:16).

The commitment inherent in true love also calls us to growth and transformation. It challenges us to move beyond self-interest and to continually choose the good of the other. This echoes God’s covenant faithfulness to Israel, even in the face of their unfaithfulness, and ultimately Christ’s sacrificial love for us on the cross.

But we must remember that this commitment is not meant to be a burden, but a source of freedom and joy. As Saint Augustine beautifully expressed, “Love, and do what you will.” When our hearts are truly aligned with God’s love, our commitments become not external constraints, but the natural expression of our deepest desires.

In practical terms, living out this understanding of love means approaching our relationships with intentionality and seriousness. It means making and keeping promises, being faithful in both good times and challenging ones, and continually choosing to act in loving ways even when feelings may fluctuate.

What does the Bible teach about love for enemies and difficult people?

The Bible’s teachings on love for enemies and difficult people are among the most challenging and transformative in all of Scripture. Our Lord Jesus Christ himself gives us the supreme example and commandment in this regard, telling us: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).(Holowchak et al., n.d.)

This radical call to love goes far beyond our natural inclinations. It asks us to respond to hatred with love, to curses with blessings, to mistreatment with prayer. It is a love that does not depend on the worthiness of its object, but flows from the very nature of God within us.

The Apostle Paul echoes this teaching, exhorting us: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21).(Agar, 2017) This is not passive acceptance of wrongdoing, but an active choice to respond to evil with good, to hatred with love. It is a powerful witness to the transformative power of God’s love working through us.

We see this love exemplified in the life of Christ, who loved and forgave even those who crucified him. We see it in the story of Stephen, the first Christian martyr, who prayed for those stoning him: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60).

But this love is not easy. It requires great spiritual strength and maturity. It calls us to see beyond the surface, to recognize the dignity of every person as a child of God, even when their actions are hurtful or unjust. It asks us to separate the sin from the sinner, to hate the evil while loving the person.

This love does not mean we approve of wrongdoing or allow ourselves to be abused. Rather, it means we respond to wrongdoing with justice tempered by mercy, always seeking the good of the other and leaving final judgment to God. It means we pray for those who hurt us, asking God to bless them and lead them to repentance and transformation.

In practicing this love, we participate in God’s redemptive work in the world. We become channels of His grace, breaking cycles of hatred and revenge. We witness to the power of God’s love to heal and transform even the most difficult relationships and situations.

How can we grow in our capacity to love like Christ?

Growing in our capacity to love like Christ is the very essence of our Christian journey. It is a lifelong process of transformation, guided by the Holy Spirit, as we strive to become more like our Lord and Savior.

We must recognize that this love is not something we can manufacture on our own. It is a gift from God, a participation in His own divine love. As St. Paul reminds us, “God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5). Therefore, our primary task is to open ourselves to receive this love, to allow it to fill us and flow through us.

How do we do this? We begin with prayer and contemplation. We must spend time in intimate communion with God, allowing His love to penetrate our hearts. As we gaze upon Christ in the Gospels, as we receive Him in the Eucharist, as we listen to His voice in prayer, we are gradually transformed. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).(Tanquerey, 2000)

But this love cannot remain merely a feeling or an idea. It must be put into action. As C.S. Lewis wisely observed, “Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.”(Keller & Keller, 2011) This is the path of discipleship – we learn to love by practicing love, even when it is difficult.

We must also cultivate humility and self-awareness. Often, our inability to love others stems from our own wounds, fears, and insecurities. We must allow God’s love to heal us, to free us from our self-centeredness, so that we can truly see and love others as He does. This requires honest self-examination and a willingness to confront our own shortcomings.

We grow in love by fostering genuine relationships within the community of faith. As we practice forgiveness, patience, and kindness with our brothers and sisters in Christ, we learn to extend that love to all. The Church is meant to be a school of love, where we support and challenge one another to grow in Christ-like love.

We must also nourish our minds with God’s word and the teachings of the Church. As we meditate on Scripture and study the lives of the saints, we gain wisdom and inspiration for living out this radical love in our daily lives.

Finally, we must remember that growing in love is a grace-filled journey, not a destination we reach by our own efforts. We will stumble and fall, but God’s mercy is always there to lift us up. Each failure becomes an opportunity to experience God’s forgiveness and to extend that forgiveness to others.

Let us, therefore, persevere in this journey of love, trusting in God’s grace to transform us. As St. Augustine beautifully expressed, “Love, and do what you will.” For when we are truly filled with God’s love, all our actions will flow from that love, reflecting Christ to the world.

What are some examples of true love in biblical stories and characters?

The Bible is rich with examples of true love that inspire and guide us in our own journey of faith. These stories reveal the many facets of love – sacrificial, faithful, forgiving, and transformative – that reflect God’s own love for us.

Let us first consider the powerful love of Ruth for her mother-in-law, Naomi. After losing her husband, Ruth chose to leave her homeland and follow Naomi, declaring, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16).(Hoffman, 2018) This is a beautiful example of loyal, selfless love that transcends cultural and familial boundaries. Ruth’s faithfulness was ultimately rewarded, as she became an ancestor of Jesus Christ.

We see another powerful example in the friendship between David and Jonathan. Despite the fact that Jonathan’s father, King Saul, sought to kill David, Jonathan remained loyal to his friend. He “loved him as he loved his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1), even to the point of risking his own life and giving up his claim to the throne. This deep, sacrificial friendship beautifully illustrates the kind of love Jesus spoke of when He said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).

The prophet Hosea provides a striking image of God’s faithful love for His people. God commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute and to continue loving her despite her unfaithfulness. This difficult and painful experience became a living parable of God’s enduring love for Israel, and by extension, for all of us. It teaches us that true love perseveres even in the face of betrayal and hurt.

In the New Testament, we find numerous examples of Christ’s love in action. Consider the story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). Jesus’ response to her accusers – “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” – and His words to the woman herself – “Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin” – demonstrate a love that offers both mercy and the call to transformation.

The parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) gives us a powerful picture of God’s unconditional love. The father’s joyful welcome of his wayward son, running to embrace him and celebrating his return, shows us the heart of our Heavenly Father who eagerly awaits our return when we stray.

We must not forget the ultimate example of love – Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). This is love in its most radical form – the Creator dying for His creation, the Sinless One taking on the sins of the world.

Finally, let us remember the early Christian community described in Acts. “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had” (Acts 4:32). This communal love, born of their faith in Christ, challenges us to expand our understanding of love beyond individual relationships to encompass the whole body of Christ.

These biblical examples remind us that true love is active, not passive; it is sacrificial, not self-serving; it is faithful, even when tested; and it has the power to transform both the lover and the beloved. May we be inspired by these stories to grow in our own capacity to love as God loves us.

What does the Catholic Church teach about the concept of “true love”?

The Catholic Church’s teaching on “true love” is rooted in the very nature of God, who is Love itself. As St. John tells us, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (1 John 4:16). This powerful truth forms the foundation of our understanding of true love.

The Church teaches that true love is not merely a feeling or emotion, but a choice and a commitment. It is a reflection of God’s own love for us – unconditional, sacrificial, and oriented towards the good of the other. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “To love is to will the good of another” (CCC 1766).(Burke-Sivers, 2015) This definition challenges us to move beyond self-interest and to seek actively what is best for those we love.

True love, in the Church’s understanding, is intrinsically connected to the dignity of the human person. Each individual, created in the image and likeness of God, is worthy of love and respect. This love extends to all people, including those who may be difficult to love or even our enemies, as Christ commanded us.

In the context of marriage, the Church teaches that true love finds its fullest expression. Marriage is not merely a human institution but a sacrament, a visible sign of God’s love for His people. The love between husband and wife is called to mirror the love between Christ and His Church – faithful, fruitful, and forever.(Asci, 2002) This love is both unitive and procreative, bringing the couple closer together and open to the gift of new life.

The Church emphasizes that true love is not opposed to sacrifice but often requires it. As Christ demonstrated on the cross, the greatest love involves giving of oneself for the good of the other. This sacrificial dimension of love is essential in all relationships, but especially in marriage and family life.

The Church teaches that true love is inseparable from truth and goodness. Love does not ignore or condone sin but seeks the authentic good of the other, which includes their spiritual well-being. As St. Paul writes, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).

The Church also recognizes that our capacity to love truly is wounded by sin. We need God’s grace to heal and elevate our love. Through the sacraments, especially the Eucharist, and through prayer, we receive the strength to love as Christ loves us.

True love in Catholic teaching is not limited to romantic relationships. It encompasses love of God, love of neighbor, and even love of self (in the proper sense of recognizing our own dignity as God’s children). The greatest commandments – to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and to love our neighbor as ourselves – encapsulate this comprehensive view of love.

Finally, the Church teaches that true love has an eschatological dimension. Our love in this life, imperfect as it may be, is a foretaste and preparation for the perfect love we will experience in eternal communion with God and one another in heaven.

What do the Church Fathers teach about the concept of “true love”?

The Church Fathers, those early Christian leaders and teachers who helped shape our faith, offer us powerful insights into the concept of “true love.” Their teachings, rooted in Scripture and their deep experience of God’s love, continue to guide and inspire us today.

St. Augustine, one of the greatest of the Church Fathers, teaches us that true love is intimately connected with God, who is the source of all love. He famously wrote, “Love, and do what you will.”(Keller & Keller, 2011) This statement, far from being a license for moral relativism, means that when our hearts are truly aligned with God’s love, our actions will naturally flow from that love. Augustine understood that true love is not about following rules, but about having our hearts transformed by God’s love so that we desire what God desires.

St. John Chrysostom, known as the “Golden-mouthed” for his eloquence, emphasized the sacrificial nature of true love, particularly in marriage. He taught that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church, giving himself up for her. This love, he said, is not based on the worthiness of the beloved, but on the choice of the lover to love unconditionally.(Burke-Sivers, 2015) Chrysostom’s teachings remind us that true love is not merely a feeling, but a commitment to the good of the other, even at great personal cost.

St. Clement of Alexandria spoke of love as a unifying force that brings us closer to God and to one another. He wrote, “The union of many in one, issuing in the production of divine harmony out of a medley of sounds and division, becomes one symphony following one choir-leader and teacher, the Word, reaching and resting in the same truth, and crying Abba, Father.”(Meconi & Olson, 2016) This beautiful image reminds us that true love is not just about individual relationships, but about our participation in the harmony of God’s love that unites all creation.

St. Ignatius of Antioch, writing to the early Christian communities, emphasized that true love must be expressed in action. He urged believers to not just profess their love for Christ, but to demonstrate it through their lives. “It is better for a man to be silent and be a Christian(#), than to talk and not to be one,” he wrote.(Tanquerey, 2000) This teaching challenges us to ensure that our proclamations of love are matched by our actions.

St. Basil the Great taught that true love is closely linked with humility and service. He wrote, “A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.”(Meconi & Olson, 2016) This reminds us that true love is not about grand gestures, but about consistent acts of kindness and service that bear fruit in our relationships.

St. Gregory of Nyssa spoke of love as a journey of continual growth. He taught that as we grow in our love for God, we also grow in our capacity to love others. This love, he said, is transformative, gradually making us more like Christ. Gregory’s teachings remind us that true love is not static, but a dynamic process of growth and transformation.

Finally, St. Ambrose beautifully connected love with joy and freedom. He wrote, “There is no love without hope, no hope without love, and neither hope nor love without faith.”(Meconi & Olson, 2016) This reminds us that true love is not a burden, but a source of joy and freedom, rooted in our faith and hope in God.