What Happens After Leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses?

Understanding the Journey Away from Jehovah’s Witnesses: Hope, Healing, and How to Help

Maybe you’ve seen Jehovah’s Witnesses sharing their message in your neighborhood, knocking on doors with such sincere hearts. Or perhaps you have a dear someone in your family, or even a coworker connected to this faith. It’s only natural to have questions, especially about something so personal, like what happens when someone decides to walk a different spiritual road. God puts a desire in our hearts to understand, to connect, and most importantly, to show His love and compassion. This article is meant to shine a bright light on that journey, bringing clarity and hope by looking closely at their practices and beliefs. We want to explore this path, which can sometimes be difficult, with wisdom, kindness, and an open heart, answering the questions many Christians find themselves asking.

Our purpose here is to walk together through the top 10 questions Christian readers often search for online about leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses. By exploring their official guidelines, the real stories people share, the beliefs they hold, and the pathways to finding peace and healing, we can gain a better understanding. And understanding helps us know how best to respond with the amazing love of God.

Can Someone Simply Decide to Stop Being a Jehovah’s Witness?

You might think leaving a faith group is just like deciding not to go somewhere anymore, maybe like changing gyms or stopping a magazine subscription. But for Jehovah’s Witnesses, the steps and the results of leaving often feel much bigger and carry a lot of weight within their community. Let’s take a look at how the organization sees someone stepping away.

Officially, if you look at the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ website, JW.org, it says a person can choose to leave. This can happen in a couple of main ways: they can formally ask, either by speaking or writing, saying they don’t want to be known as a Jehovah’s Witness anymore, or they might do things that show they’ve stepped outside the group, like joining another religion and letting people know about it.¹ When someone formally leaves like this, they call it “disassociating” oneself.

But the organization makes a difference between formally disassociating and just becoming inactive, maybe not going to meetings as much. JW.org says that people who stop preaching or attending meetings—often called becoming “inactive” or “fading”—are not seen as having resigned and so, they say, they are not shunned.¹ The official view is that these folks might just be discouraged or feeling a bit weak in their faith, and the right thing to do is offer them comfort, support, and spiritual help from the congregation elders if they want it.¹ They stress that worshipping God has to come willingly from the heart, and elders can’t make someone stay.¹

Even with these official words, stories from people who used to be members and careful studies suggest there can be a big difference between what’s said publicly and what many people actually experience. While just being inactive might not automatically lead to formal discipline, things can change quickly if an inactive person starts saying they don’t agree with Jehovah’s Witness teachings or that they don’t believe anymore.³ Evidence shows that saying things like this, even if it’s found out indirectly, can lead to the person being called before a special committee of elders, called a judicial committee.³ If, in that meeting, the person confirms they disagree or says they don’t want to be a Witness anymore, they can be formally disassociated, even if they didn’t ask for it.³ This “forced disassociation” leads to the very same shunning that happens to people who are formally kicked out for doing something wrong.³

This shows there might be a way the group keeps things in line that goes beyond just whether someone shows up or not. It seems like sticking to the official teachings and staying loyal to the organization’s way of thinking is really important. The freedom to just “stop associating” seems to depend on not questioning the group’s authority or beliefs.³ This idea of watching over personal beliefs doesn’t quite match the picture of a group where people can just quietly stop coming without any problems.³ Findings from a big investigation in Australia (the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse) backed this up, showing that even inactive members often feel shunned to some degree, which goes against what the organization says publicly.³

What’s more, this points to a possible difference between the message shared with everyone through official places like JW.org and how the rules are actually applied inside the group. The softer public image, talking about supporting those who are inactive, seems quite different from the stricter reality inside where disagreeing, even if you’re inactive, can lead to serious social consequences.¹ This suggests they might be carefully managing how they look to the public while keeping a tight hold on belief and loyalty among their followers.

What’s the Difference Between Being “Disfellowshipped” and “Disassociated”?

When talking about leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses, you might hear two important words: “disfellowshipped” and “disassociated.” They start differently understanding what they mean and, even more importantly, what happens because of them is really key. Let’s make these terms clear.

• Disfellowshipping: Think of this as being expelled or removed from the congregation. It’s something done by the congregation, specifically by a judicial committee of elders. This happens to a baptized member who is found to have committed a “serious sin” and is seen as “unrepentant,” meaning they aren’t sorry or willing to change.²
• How it works: There’s a private meeting where elders decide if the person is guilty and check if they seem truly repentant. These meetings aren’t open for others to watch, and you can’t record them.
• Why it happens: Reasons for disfellowshipping cover a range of actions they believe are wrong according to the Bible, like sexual immorality, being drunk often, stealing, being greedy, worshipping idols, insulting others badly, practicing spiritism, murder, causing divisions, or apostasy (which means turning away from the faith). Apostasy is defined quite broadly. It can include teaching things different from the Watchtower Society, encouraging activities they see as sinful (even if you don’t do them yourself), taking certain jobs (like working for another church or the military), or even just stubbornly believing things different from the official teachings, even if you don’t tell others. Even criticizing a decision to disfellowship someone can be a reason.
• What’s announced: When someone is disfellowshipped, the congregation is told: “Name is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses”.It’s interesting to note that some recent internal messages might use the word “removed” instead of “disfellowshipped,” but the practice and the results are the same.¸
• Disassociation: This means formally resigning from the organization. Usually, it’s started by the person themselves when they tell the elders, either by speaking or writing, that they don’t want to be known as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses anymore.¹
• But like we talked about before, elders can also declare someone disassociated based on what they do, like joining another religion or continuing to express disagreement with core teachings.¹ This is a kind of “forced disassociation” for people who might just want to be inactive but whose change in belief becomes known.³
• What’s announced: The announcement made to the congregation when someone disassociates is exactly the same as for disfellowshipping: “Name is no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses”.¸

The most important thing to understand is the result: shunning. Official Jehovah’s Witness policy says that both people who are disfellowshipped and those who disassociate themselves must be treated the same way by active members. They face strict avoidance, which is commonly called shunning.³

Because the outcome is identical, the practical difference between being kicked out and formally quitting becomes very small. Even though the path to the announcement is different, the result within the community—being completely cut off socially and publicly labeled as no longer belonging—is the same. This really emphasizes that any clear break from the organization, whether you choose it or it’s imposed on you, brings the same heavy social penalty. The difference ends up being more about the process than about how it impacts the person’s relationships within the faith.

Here’s something interesting about language: the organization seems to be using the word “adherent” more often instead of “member”.If being a Jehovah’s Witness means you adhere (believe), then announcing someone is “no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses” seems a bit contradictory if they are disfellowshipped (socially removed) but still hold the beliefs (a situation sometimes called POMI – Physically Out, Mentally In).This suggests that the disciplinary action and the announcement are mainly about enforcing the group’s boundaries and social exclusion, not necessarily about the person’s actual faith or belief. It highlights that the main issue often comes down to loyalty and conforming to the organization itself.

How Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Explain Their Stance on Treating Those Who Leave?

When we see the practice of shunning, where family bonds can be broken and friendships ended overnight, it’s natural for those of us looking in to feel it’s harsh or maybe not very loving. But from the viewpoint of active Jehovah’s Witnesses, they see this practice as something necessary, something the Bible requires, and even something done out of love. They point to specific Bible verses and give several reasons why they believe this strict avoidance is the right thing to do.

The main Bible verses they use to justify this are:

• 1 Corinthians 5:11, which tells believers to “Stop keeping company with anyone called a brother who is sexually immoral or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man”.
• 2 John 9ˆ’11, which warns against welcoming or even greeting anyone who “does not remain in the teaching of the Christ,” saying that doing so makes you “a sharer in his wicked works”.

Based on how they understand these verses, the Watchtower organization gives these key reasons why strict avoidance (shunning) is so important to them:

1. Loyalty to God and His Word: Obeying Jehovah’s commands, as they read them in the Bible, is the most important thing. Showing this loyalty, even when it means doing difficult things like shunning loved ones, is seen as a way to show love for God and trust in His ways.
2. Protecting the Congregation: Staying away from those they see as unrepentant wrongdoers is believed to keep the congregation safe from bad spiritual or moral influences. It helps maintain the group’s purity and keeps up its reputation for following high standards.
3. Hoping to Motivate Repentance: They present the practice as a form of discipline meant to help the person who has left or sinned. The hope is that the pain of losing that close fellowship with family and friends will cause the person to “come to his senses,” realize how serious their actions were, and decide to come back to Jehovah and the organization. They frame it as tough love, pointing to Hebrews 12:11 which talks about the peaceful fruit that discipline eventually brings.

The organization does offer some official points about family relationships. They say that if a disfellowshipped person lives in the same house, “blood ties remain” and “normal family affections and dealings continue”.² But even then, the spiritual connection is seen as broken, meaning the disfellowshipped person wouldn’t join in family worship. For disfellowshipped relatives living outside the immediate home, the official rule is that contact should be very limited, only for absolutely necessary family business, and loyal members shouldn’t look for excuses to spend time with them.

While one source mentions that individual Witnesses use their own conscience when applying these rules 10, it also points out that elders are told to counsel members who are known to have “unnecessary association” with disfellowshipped or disassociated relatives not living in the home. This could even lead to a judicial committee if there’s “persistent spiritual association” or if the person openly criticizes the disfellowshipping decision.¹

Looking at these reasons, we can see some points of tension. How they interpret and use the verses (1 Cor 5, 2 John) is much stricter than how most mainstream Christian churches understand church discipline or interacting with those who have strayed. The focus on almost complete separation, even avoiding a simple greeting 4, is an extreme interpretation centered on exclusion rather than trying to restore or stay connected where possible.

Also, framing shunning as “loving discipline” meant to bring repentance creates a difficult situation. Although the stated goal might be to restore the person, the actual effect often includes severe emotional and psychological harm, like intense loneliness, feeling worthless, trauma, and sadly, even thoughts of suicide. This big difference between the supposed loving purpose and the often devastating results makes us wonder if the practice truly helps the person being shunned or if it mainly works as a powerful way to keep everyone in line and loyal to the group.

Finally, there’s a noticeable contradiction in the advice about family. The reassuring statements in official FAQs suggesting “normal family affections and dealings continue” 2 don’t quite match the stricter policy book rule for minimal contact with relatives outside the home. This difference is made even clearer by the countless stories from former members who experience complete cutoff from parents, siblings, and even children who stay in the organization. This suggests the official public statements might paint too rosy a picture or only apply to the very specific situation of living in the same house, Although the reality for most families separated by disfellowshipping involves strict shunning being enforced.

What Exactly is “Shunning,” and Does It Happen to Everyone Who Leaves?

The word “shunning” brings to mind images of being left out, of silence. In the world of Jehovah’s Witnesses, it means a specific, required practice of strictly avoiding certain people who leave the group. Understanding what this involves and who goes through it is so important for grasping what it’s really like to leave this faith.

Shunning is the way baptized members are told to treat those who are formally disfellowshipped (kicked out for unrepentant sin) or disassociated (formally resign or are declared by elders to have resigned through their actions or words).² It means cutting off almost all social and spiritual contact. According to the official rules and people’s experiences:

• Active members are told not to have fellowship or socialize with shunned individuals.
• This includes avoiding even simple, polite things, like saying “Hello”. The reason given is that even a quick greeting could lead to a conversation and maybe even a friendship, which is not allowed.
• Eating a meal with a shunned person is specifically forbidden.
• Shunned individuals shouldn’t be welcomed into members’ homes.
• Any contact beyond what’s absolutely necessary (like unavoidable family matters for relatives living elsewhere) is discouraged.

This rule applies not just to former friends and acquaintances in the congregation also, and this is very major, it extends to family members who stay active Jehovah’s Witnesses, especially those not living in the same house. This part, the shunning within families, is often the most heartbreaking and debated aspect of the practice.

So, who is officially supposed to be exempt from this required shunning? According to JW.org:

• People who were baptized but just become inactive in preaching or going to meetings (“fade”) without formally quitting or being disciplined for serious sin or turning against the faith are not supposed to be shunned.¹ The official stance is to reach out and help them.¹
• Those who were never baptized as Jehovah’s Witnesses but maybe studied with them or came to meetings for a while and then stopped are not formally shunned.

But what actually happens seems more complicated than these official rules suggest. Many people who try to leave quietly by “fading” say they experience informal or “soft shunning”. This might mean being ignored at meetings (if they go sometimes), avoided in public places, left out of social gatherings, or getting very little interaction even from close family members.³ The findings from that Australian Royal Commission also showed that shunning often happens to inactive members too, challenging what the organization claims.³ Plus, some former members talk about “preemptive shunning,” where people in the congregation start pulling away if they think someone’s faith is weakening or they might disagree with teachings, even before anything formal happens or the person has even decided to leave.¹

Recently, things got even more layered. In late 2023 or early 2024, the Watchtower organization quietly took down instructional videos from its official website that showed and explained shunning (including within families).¹ This happened Although the practice was facing more public criticism and scrutiny or legal challenges from governments in places like Norway, Japan, and Denmark.¹ The organization didn’t give an official reason people watching think it might be an effort to make their public image softer or reduce legal risks.¹ Around the same time, there were reports of a small change in policy suggesting members could offer a greeting or invite a disfellowshipped person to a meeting the main practice of avoiding social time together seems mostly unchanged.How much this small shift actually changes things in practice is still being discussed by observers and former members.

Shunning isn’t just a small side issue in the Jehovah’s Witness experience; it’s a central and very powerful tool used to keep doctrine pure and discourage people from disagreeing or leaving. While it’s formally linked to being disfellowshipped or disassociated, its effects can spill over onto those trying to fade quietly, creating an atmosphere where you can’t be sure what will happen and potentially leading to social isolation even for those not officially disciplined.³ The recent changes in how they present things (like removing videos) might show they’re sensitive to outside pressure without a real change in the core belief and practice, shunning remains a defining and often deeply hurtful part of leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses for many people.

What Are the Toughest Challenges People Face After Leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses?

Stepping away from a religious group that has shaped almost every part of your life—your beliefs, your relationships, your daily schedule, your very sense of who you are—is almost never easy. For those who leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the journey is often filled with deep and varied challenges. These challenges come from the group’s high-control nature and, especially, from the practice of shunning. Understanding these difficulties requires compassion and an awareness of the powerful impact such an experience can have.

Emotional and Psychological Impact:

• Overwhelming Grief and Loss: Maybe the hardest and most immediate challenge is losing relationships because of shunning. People who leave often talk about an intense grief, like losing someone who died, because they are cut off from parents, siblings, children, and friends they’ve known their whole lives who stay in the organization. Sometimes this is called “social death” or the pain of “grieving the living”—loved ones are still alive you can’t reach them. Any relationships that do remain might feel conditional, only offered if the person comes back to the faith.¹¹
• powerful Loneliness and Isolation: Having been part of such a tight-knit community where social life revolves heavily around the group, leaving often means losing your entire support system practically overnight. This leads to deep feelings of loneliness and being cut off, especially if people were discouraged from making close friends outside the faith.
• Mental Health Struggles: Studies and personal stories consistently show major negative effects on mental health. Former members report higher levels of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), feelings of worthlessness, and feeling like they’ve lost control over their own lives. The emotional burden can be so heavy that, tragically, thoughts of suicide and even attempts are reported among some who have left.
• Lingering Fear and Phobias: Years of being taught about Armageddon, demons, and the dangers of the “world” can leave lasting fears and phobias that stick around long after someone intellectually leaves.¹¹ There can also be social anxiety and a fear of being judged.¹³
• Guilt and Shame: Many wrestle with leftover guilt put there by the organization—guilt about things they feel they did wrong in the past, guilt about leaving “Jehovah’s organization,” or guilt for causing pain to family members who now shun them. Feeling ashamed about past beliefs or current struggles in adjusting is also common.¹¹
• Deep-Seated Distrust: The culture within Jehovah’s Witnesses where members might watch over and report on each other can create a deep and lasting distrust of people, groups, and institutions. This makes it hard to form trusting relationships after leaving.

Social and Practical Challenges:

• Rebuilding a Social World: Having been somewhat isolated from mainstream society, many former members find it incredibly hard to build new friendships and social circles. They might feel they lack basic social skills, struggle to understand social interactions outside the JW context, or find it difficult to trust potential new friends.
• Identity Crisis: For those raised in the faith, their whole identity might have been wrapped up in being a Jehovah’s Witness. Leaving creates a void, forcing them to wrestle with big questions about who they are, what they truly believe, and what their purpose is outside the organization.
• Navigating Family Conflict: If close family members stay active Witnesses, the person who left has to deal with the ongoing pain of being shunned, possibly facing pressure to come back, or managing awkward and very limited contact allowed under strict rules.
• Practical Disadvantages: The organization historically discouraged getting higher education or focusing too much on careers, preferring that members spend time preaching. This can leave former members at a disadvantage.³¹ They might lack educational degrees, struggle financially, have fewer job options, or lack basic knowledge about managing money, healthcare, or finding community resources.

For women leaving the organization, these challenges can be even tougher because of the male-dominated structures and sometimes sexist ideas within the JW culture. This can potentially affect their self-esteem and opportunities even more.

When you put all these things together—the intense indoctrination, the trauma of being shunned, losing your identity and social structure, and possible practical difficulties—leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses is often not just about changing beliefs. It’s frequently a deeply traumatic experience. The psychological impact often needs more than just time; getting professional help from a therapist is often necessary for true healing.¹³

The challenges are often built into the system, rooted in the organization’s teachings and structure that can leave people unprepared for life outside.³Even after physically leaving, the mental habits—the fear, the guilt, the black-and-white thinking, the ingrained distrust—can linger, creating major internal roadblocks to recovery and adjusting to a life of freedom and personal choice.

Is There Hope and Healing After Leaving? What Does Life Look Like for Former Members?

Even after walking through the valley, facing deep challenges and emotional pain, it’s so important to know that there is absolutely hope for a brighter day ahead! Yes, stepping away from a high-control group like the Jehovah’s Witnesses, especially when dealing with the heartbreak of shunning, brings enormous difficulties. But the wonderful truth is that healing is possible, and countless people who have left have gone on to build fulfilling, authentic, and joyful lives. God is good!

The journey to healing is definitely a process, and it looks different for each person. It often takes major time, real effort, strong support from others, and, for many, the guidance of professional therapists or counselors. It’s especially helpful if these professionals have experience with religious trauma or helping people recover from high-demand groups.¹³ Facing the depth of the emotional wounds—the grief, the anger, the fear, the loss of who you thought you were—is such a crucial first step.² Things like writing in a journal can be a real help in processing all those complex feelings.¹³ And thankfully, there are now many books and resources written specifically by and for former Jehovah’s Witnesses. These offer validation, practical ways to cope, and roadmaps for recovery.² Authors like Bonnie Zieman, who was a JW herself and became a psychotherapist, have created handbooks designed to help people on this healing journey.²

As people walk this path, several common themes pop up about what life can look like after leaving:

• Embracing Freedom and Being Real: A powerful theme is the amazing feeling of relief and freedom—freedom from the constant pressure, the tight rules, the guilt that hangs heavy, and the fear-based way of seeing the world.¹² Many talk about the joy of finally being able to live as their true selves, make their own choices, and discover who they are apart from the organization’s expectations. Some feel simple relief just from not having to do things they didn’t enjoy, like door-to-door preaching or sitting through repetitive meetings.¹²
• Developing Critical Thinking: Leaving often starts a journey of waking up intellectually. Former members learn to think critically and for themselves, looking closely at the beliefs they grew up with and forming their own understanding of the world. For some, this leads them to be skeptical about all organized religion.¹²
• Building New, Meaningful Connections: While overcoming distrust and learning new social skills can be a challenge 38, many former members successfully build healthy, supportive relationships based on real care and mutual respect, not just shared group membership.¹ Finding supportive communities—whether it’s online forums like r/exjw, local meetup groups, or new church families—is vital for fighting isolation and finding a place to belong. Some find incredible support from people or families who were never JWs but offer acceptance and practical help.³¸
• Rediscovering or Finding Faith on Their Own Terms: The spiritual path after leaving looks very different for different people. Some former Witnesses reconnect with or discover mainstream Christianity. They find comfort in the message of God’s grace, His unconditional love, and having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, which feels very different from the works-based system they left.³ They might appreciate the warmth and voluntary feeling in other churches. Others explore different spiritual paths, while some become agnostic or atheist, finding peace outside of religious structures.¹² The common thread is the freedom to choose their own spiritual journey.
• Pursuing Personal Goals: Many grab hold of opportunities the organization might have discouraged before, like getting higher education, building careers, or enjoying hobbies and interests that bring them personal joy and fulfillment.³¹
• Finding Genuine Happiness: Despite the undeniable pain and difficulty of the transition, so many stories testify to former members finding true happiness, peace, and satisfaction in life outside the Watchtower organization.¹²

The process of recovery is truly multi-layered. It’s not just about healing emotionally; it involves intellectually taking apart old beliefs, socially rebuilding networks, and often making big practical changes in life. The power of connecting with others who share the unique experience of having been a Jehovah’s Witness is huge. These connections provide understanding and validation, and practical advice that’s often hard for outsiders to give. They act as a powerful boost for healing.

For many, leaving also means a fundamental shift in how they see hope. The focus changes from waiting for a future Armageddon and paradise on Earth dictated by the organization, to finding hope, purpose, and meaning right here in this life—in personal freedom, real relationships, discovering themselves, and making a difference in the world in their own unique way.¹² It’s a beautiful testament to how resilient people are and the enduring possibility of building a bright future, even after walking through the darkest times. God is faithful!

As Christians, How Can We Best Show God’s Love to Jehovah’s Witnesses or Those Who Have Left?

People who have left the organization often carry deep hurts and face huge challenges. Supporting them requires extra sensitivity and understanding:

Offer Unconditional Friendship and Practical Support

Many have lost their entire family and social circle. Be a genuine friend without judging or putting pressure on them. Offer practical help if it seems right (like helping them find resources, being a listening ear, including them in social activities).³ Remember the story of Daniel Verkoeyen who befriended Matthew Fenn (an ex-JW who became a pastor) and offered him a place to stay when things got tough at home.³

Be Patient and Empathetic

Understand that healing from religious trauma, undoing years of indoctrination, and dealing with the pain of shunning takes time.³They might struggle with trusting people, grief, anxiety, depression, or figuring out who they are now. Listen patiently and let them know their experiences and feelings are valid, without making light of their pain.³¸

Respect Their Autonomy and Journey

Realize that their path after leaving is their own to walk. Some might embrace mainstream Christianity, others might explore different spiritual ideas, and some might decide religion isn’t for them anymore.¹² Avoid pushing your own beliefs or church onto them. Your role is to love and support them, not to control their journey. God is big enough to guide them.

Gently Offer Resources (If Appropriate)

If they express interest or seem to need help, you can gently suggest helpful resources like support groups, therapists who specialize in religious trauma, or specific ministries designed for ex-JWs.¹ Let them decide if they want to follow up.

Introduce the Concept of Grace

If they are open to exploring Christianity, gently emphasize the core message of God’s amazing grace—His undeserved favor and unconditional love, given freely through faith in Jesus Christ. This is such a beautiful contrast to the works-based, performance-driven, and often fear-based system they came from.¹Help them understand that salvation is a gift, not something earned or dependent on belonging to any human organization.²²

In every interaction, let love be your guide. See the person—created in God’s image, possibly hurting deeply—as separate from the doctrines or practices you disagree with. By approaching both active and former Jehovah’s Witnesses with genuine compassion, respect, patience, and prayer, we as Christians can be channels of God’s healing love and bright beacons of hope on their journey.