Article Summary
- Communicate openly: Discuss your desires for marriage with your boyfriend in a calm and non-pressure-filled manner.
- Build a strong foundation: Show your commitment and dedication to the relationship by being a supportive and dependable partner.
- Create a vision for the future: Paint a picture of the life you envision together and share your goals and plans for the future.
- Focus on personal growth: Work on becoming the best version of yourself, both individually and as a couple, to create an environment that encourages a proposal.
How can I align my desire for marriage with God's will and timing?
The desire for marriage is a beautiful and natural longing that God has placed in many hearts. It reflects our innate need for companionship and our calling to participate in God's creative love. But aligning this desire with God's will and timing requires patience, discernment, and trust in His divine plan for your life.
We must remember that God's timing is perfect, even when it doesn't align with our own expectations. As we read in Ecclesiastes, "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). This means that we must cultivate a spirit of trust and surrender, acknowledging that God knows what is best for us, even when His plan seems unclear or delayed.
To align your desire for marriage with God's will, begin by deepening your relationship with Him. Make prayer and Scripture reading a daily priority, allowing God's word to shape your heart and mind. As you grow closer to God, you will become more attuned to His voice and guidance in your life.
Seek wisdom from spiritual mentors and trusted friends who can offer godly counsel and perspective. They may see things in your life that you cannot, and their insights can help you discern God's will more clearly. Remember the words of Proverbs: "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22).
While waiting for God's timing, focus on becoming the person God is calling you to be. Develop your gifts and talents, serve others, and grow in character and maturity. This preparation will not only make you a better future spouse but will also allow you to live a fulfilling life in the present, regardless of your marital status.
Be open to God's leading, even if it doesn't match your expectations. Sometimes, God's plan for our lives takes unexpected turns, and we must be willing to follow where He leads. Trust that if marriage is part of His plan for you, He will bring it about in His perfect timing.
Finally, remember that your ultimate fulfillment comes from your relationship with God, not from any human relationship. As Saint Augustine famously said, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you." Seek first the kingdom of God, and trust that He will provide for all your needs, including the desire for marriage, in His perfect way and time.
What does the Bible say about a woman's role in pursuing marriage?
My dear daughter in Christ, the Bible offers wisdom and guidance on many aspects of life, including the pursuit of marriage. While cultural norms have changed over time, the principles we find in Scripture can still inform our approach to seeking a godly marriage.
The Bible does not prescribe a single, rigid approach for how women should pursue marriage. Instead, it provides examples of godly women and principles that can guide our actions and attitudes.
One principle we see throughout Scripture is the importance of trusting in God's providence. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." This applies to the pursuit of marriage as well. While we can take active steps in seeking a spouse, we must ultimately trust God's timing and plan.
The Bible also emphasizes the value of wisdom and discernment in all areas of life, including relationships. Proverbs 31 describes a woman of noble character, highlighting qualities such as wisdom, industriousness, and fear of the Lord. Cultivating these qualities can make a woman attractive to potential godly suitors and prepare her for a strong marriage.
We see examples in Scripture of women who played active roles in their marriage stories. Ruth, for instance, followed Naomi's advice in approaching Boaz (Ruth 3). While cultural norms were different then, this shows that women can take initiative in appropriate ways. But this should always be done with wisdom, modesty, and respect for God's design for relationships.
The apostle Paul provides guidance on marriage in 1 Corinthians 7. While he acknowledges that it is good to remain single if one has that gift, he also affirms marriage as a legitimate desire. He advises those who "burn with passion" to marry rather than to sin (1 Corinthians 7:9). This suggests that it is acceptable for women to acknowledge their desire for marriage and to take appropriate steps towards that goal.
But the Bible also cautions against being consumed by the pursuit of marriage. Jesus teaches us to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33). Our primary focus should always be on our relationship with God and serving His kingdom.
In pursuing marriage, women should also be mindful of the biblical principle of submission within marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33). This doesn't mean passivity or oppression, but rather a willingness to respect and support one's future husband as a partner in Christ.
The Bible encourages women to pursue marriage with wisdom, patience, and trust in God. It's a balance of taking appropriate initiative while also waiting on God's timing and guidance. As you seek marriage, continue to grow in your faith, develop godly character, and trust that God will guide your steps according to His perfect will.
How can I communicate my desire for marriage in a godly way?
Communicating your desire for marriage in a godly way requires wisdom, patience, and a deep respect for God's plan and timing. It is a delicate balance between expressing your heart's longing and surrendering to God's will. Let us explore how to navigate this path with grace and faith.
Remember that open and honest communication is vital in any relationship, especially one that may lead to marriage. The book of Proverbs reminds us, "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil" (Proverbs 15:28). This teaches us to be thoughtful and intentional in our words, especially when discussing such an important matter.
Begin by prayerfully examining your motivations. Are you seeking marriage out of a desire to glorify God and serve Him together with a spouse? Or are you driven by societal pressures or fear of being alone? Aligning your desires with God's will is crucial. As Jesus taught us, "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33).
When you feel ready to express your desire for marriage, choose an appropriate time and setting for this conversation. Ensure that you are both in a calm and receptive state of mind. Begin by affirming your commitment to God and your relationship. Express your feelings with honesty and vulnerability, but also with respect for the other person's feelings and perspective.
It's important to frame your desire for marriage in the context of your shared faith and values. Discuss how you envision serving God together as a married couple and how this union could glorify Him. The apostle Paul writes, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). Let this guide your approach, ensuring that your desire for marriage is not self-centered but focused on mutual growth and service to God.
Be prepared to listen as well. Your partner may have thoughts, concerns, or a different timeline in mind. Practice active listening and seek to understand their perspective. Remember the wisdom of James: "take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).
It's also crucial to communicate your willingness to wait on God's timing. Express your trust in His plan, even if it differs from your own. This demonstrates spiritual maturity and a deep faith that can strengthen your relationship. As Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
If you're not currently in a relationship, you can still communicate your desire for marriage in godly ways. Share your heart with trusted friends, family members, or spiritual mentors who can pray with you and offer guidance. Participate in your faith community, allowing others to get to know you and potentially introduce you to like-minded individuals.
Remember, my child, that your worth is not determined by your marital status but by your identity in Christ. As you communicate your desire for marriage, do so from a place of completeness in Him, not from a place of lack or desperation. Let your words and actions reflect the fruit of the Spirit: "love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23).
Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to propose sooner rather than later?
The desire for commitment and the longing to move forward in a relationship are natural and often beautiful expressions of love. But we must approach this desire with wisdom, patience, and a deep trust in God's perfect timing. Let us reflect on this question with the guidance of Scripture and the wisdom of our faith.
Your desire for marriage is not inherently wrong. The book of Genesis tells us that God created marriage as a gift for humanity: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Your longing for this sacred union is a reflection of God's design for many of His children.
But we must be cautious about allowing our desires to overshadow God's timing and will for our lives. The prophet Isaiah reminds us, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9). This teaches us to trust in God's wisdom, even when His timing doesn't align with our own expectations.
Consider also the importance of spiritual and emotional readiness for marriage. Marriage is a covenant before God, a lifelong commitment that requires maturity, selflessness, and a deep understanding of one's faith. The apostle Paul advises, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). This principle encourages us to ensure that both partners are equally committed to their faith and ready for the responsibilities of marriage.
It's crucial to examine your motivations for wanting your boyfriend to propose sooner. Are you seeking security, validation, or societal approval? Or is your desire rooted in a genuine readiness to commit your life to this person and to serve God together? Remember the words of Jesus: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34). This teaches us to focus on growing in faith and love each day, rather than anxiously anticipating the future.
Communication is key in any relationship. Have you had open, honest conversations with your boyfriend about your future together? It's important to understand each other's perspectives, timelines, and readiness for marriage. The book of Proverbs tells us, "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil" (Proverbs 15:28). This encourages us to approach such conversations with thoughtfulness and care.
While it's not wrong to desire marriage, pressuring your partner or allowing this desire to create tension in your relationship can be counterproductive. Instead, focus on nurturing your relationship with God and with each other. Use this time to grow in faith, develop your individual characters, and learn to serve others together. As you do this, you'll be preparing yourselves for a strong, Christ-centered marriage, whenever that time may come.
Remember, my child, that your worth and completeness come from Christ alone, not from your relationship status. As Paul writes, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances" (Philippians 4:11). Strive to find contentment in your current season, trusting that God is working all things for your good (Romans 8:28).
How can we grow spiritually as a couple to prepare for marriage?
Preparing for marriage is a sacred journey that involves not only practical considerations but, most importantly, spiritual growth as individuals and as a couple. This preparation is a beautiful opportunity to deepen your relationship with each other and with God, laying a strong foundation for a Christ-centered marriage.
Make prayer the cornerstone of your relationship. As the Psalmist says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain" (Psalm 127:1). Establish a habit of praying together regularly. This can include thanking God for each other, seeking His guidance in your relationship, and interceding for others. Prayer will not only strengthen your bond but also help you align your desires and plans with God's will.
Studying Scripture together is another powerful way to grow spiritually. The letter to the Hebrews reminds us that "the word of God is alive and active" (Hebrews 4:12). Set aside time to read and discuss the Bible, focusing particularly on passages that speak about love, marriage, and godly character. This practice will help you develop a shared understanding of God's design for marriage and equip you to face life's challenges together.
Serving others as a couple can also foster spiritual growth. Jesus taught us that "it is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35). Look for opportunities to volunteer in your church or community. This shared experience of serving will help you develop compassion, humility, and a sense of purpose beyond yourselves – all crucial qualities for a strong marriage.
Attending church and participating in a faith community together is vital. The author of Hebrews encourages us, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another" (Hebrews 10:25). Being part of a faith community provides support, accountability, and opportunities for growth. It also helps you envision how you will lead your future family in faith.
Consider participating in premarital counseling or a marriage preparation course. Many churches offer these programs, which can provide valuable insights into communication, conflict resolution, and the biblical foundations of marriage. Proverbs tells us, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22). Seeking wisdom from those who have experience in married life can be immensely beneficial.
Practice forgiveness and grace in your relationship. As Paul writes, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). Learning to forgive and extend grace to each other now will prepare you for the challenges that inevitably arise in marriage.
Cultivate individual spiritual disciplines as well. While growing together is important, your personal relationship with God is the foundation of your ability to love and serve your partner. Encourage each other in personal prayer, Bible study, and spiritual reflection. As Jesus taught, "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33).
Discuss your values, goals, and expectations for marriage openly and honestly. This includes talking about your faith, how you envision living out your beliefs as a married couple, and how you will handle differences in opinion or practice. The prophet Amos asks, "Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?" (Amos 3:3). These conversations will help you ensure that you're on the same page spiritually and practically.
Finally, remember that spiritual growth is a lifelong journey. Your preparation for marriage is just the beginning of a lifetime of growing together in faith. Embrace this process with joy and patience, trusting that God is at work in both of you. As Paul writes, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).
What are some biblical principles for making the decision to marry?
The decision to marry is one of the most powerful choices we make in our earthly lives. It is a sacred covenant before God, uniting two souls in an intimate bond of love and commitment. As we contemplate this momentous decision, we must look to Scripture for guidance and wisdom.
We must recognize that marriage is a divine institution, established by God from the very beginning. As we read in Genesis, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). This teaches us that marriage involves a complete joining of lives, a unity of purpose and spirit.
Secondly, we must approach marriage with a spirit of selfless love, as exemplified by Christ's love for the Church. Saint Paul instructs husbands to "love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). This sacrificial love should be the foundation of any decision to marry.
Another crucial principle is spiritual compatibility. The Bible warns us not to be "unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14). This does not mean spouses must agree on every theological point, but there should be a shared commitment to following Christ and growing in faith together.
We must also consider the fruits of the Spirit in our potential spouse and in our relationship. Do we see evidence of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23)? These qualities are essential for a strong, Christ-centered marriage.
Finally, we must seek wisdom and counsel from God and from mature believers. Proverbs tells us, "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety" (Proverbs 11:14). Pray fervently, study Scripture, and seek advice from those whose marriages exemplify godly love.
Remember, that marriage is not merely about personal happiness, but about glorifying God and serving His kingdom together. As you contemplate this sacred decision, may you be filled with the peace and wisdom that comes from above.
How can I trust God's plan if my boyfriend isn't ready to propose yet?
The journey of faith often leads us through periods of waiting and uncertainty. When our hearts yearn for a particular outcome, especially in matters of love and marriage, it can be challenging to trust in God's perfect timing. Yet it is precisely in these moments that our faith is refined and strengthened.
We must remember that God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). What may seem like a delay to us could be God's way of preparing both you and your boyfriend for the lifelong commitment of marriage. Trust that the Lord, in His infinite wisdom and love, is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).
Reflect on the story of Abraham and Sarah, who waited many years for the fulfillment of God's promise of a child. Their journey teaches us that God's timing is perfect, even when it doesn't align with our expectations. In your waiting, draw strength from Sarah's example of faith, "considering him faithful who had promised" (Hebrews 11:11).
Use this time of waiting as an opportunity for spiritual growth and self-reflection. Ask yourself: Am I seeking God's will above my own desires? Am I growing in my relationship with Christ, independent of my romantic relationship? These questions can help align your heart with God's purposes.
Remember, my child, that your worth and completeness come from Christ alone, not from your relationship status. As Saint Paul reminds us, "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content" (Philippians 4:11). Cultivate contentment in Christ, knowing that He is sufficient for all your needs.
Pray for your boyfriend, that God would guide him and give him wisdom. But also pray for yourself, that you would have patience and trust in God's perfect plan. The Psalmist encourages us, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14).
Finally, communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your feelings and hopes for the future, while respecting his journey and timing. Remember that a godly marriage is built on mutual love, respect, and spiritual maturity.
Trust, my dear one, that if marriage is God's will for you, it will come to pass in His perfect timing. Until then, focus on becoming the person God is calling you to be, and rest in the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
What are healthy ways to discuss marriage and future plans as a Christian couple?
Discussing marriage and future plans is an important step in any serious relationship. As Christians, we are called to approach these conversations with wisdom, love, and a focus on God's will for our lives.
Ground your discussions in prayer. Before engaging in any serious conversation about your future together, pray individually and as a couple. Ask for God's guidance, wisdom, and clarity. As Jesus taught us, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them" (Matthew 18:20). Invite the Holy Spirit into your discussions, trusting that He will guide you.
Create an atmosphere of openness and honesty. Saint Paul encourages us to "speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15). Share your hopes, dreams, and concerns with one another in a spirit of gentleness and respect. Be willing to listen as much as you speak, seeking to understand your partner's perspective fully.
Discuss your individual and shared values, especially those rooted in your faith. Talk about how you envision living out your Christian faith as a married couple. How will you serve God together? How will you handle disagreements? What role will prayer and Scripture play in your daily lives? These conversations can help you discern if you are truly compatible on a spiritual level.
Be practical as well as spiritual. While it's important to discuss your dreams and ideals, don't shy away from practical matters. Talk about your views on finances, children, career goals, and where you might live. The book of Proverbs reminds us of the importance of wise planning: "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance" (Proverbs 21:5).
Use Scripture as a guide for your discussions. Study biblical passages about marriage together, such as Ephesians 5:21-33 or 1 Corinthians 13. Reflect on how these teachings might shape your future marriage.
Be patient with one another and with the process. Remember that you are both on a journey of growth and discovery. Give each other grace as you navigate these important conversations. As Saint Peter advises, "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8).
Seek counsel from mature Christian couples or pastoral leaders. Their wisdom and experience can provide valuable insights and guidance. Proverbs tells us, "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future" (Proverbs 19:20).
Finally, remember that these discussions are not about convincing or pressuring one another, but about discerning God's will together. Be open to the possibility that God's plan may differ from your own expectations. Trust that if you are both seeking His will above all else, He will guide you to the right path.
Approach these conversations with joy and anticipation, knowing that you are laying the foundation for a potential lifetime of partnership in Christ. May your discussions draw you closer to each other and, most importantly, closer to God.
How can I avoid pressuring my boyfriend or trying to manipulate the situation?
My the desire for marriage and commitment is a beautiful thing, but we must be careful not to let this desire lead us into unhealthy behaviors. Avoiding pressure and manipulation in our relationships is crucial for fostering genuine love and respect, which are the foundations of a Christ-centered union.
We must remember that true love is patient and kind, as Saint Paul beautifully describes in 1 Corinthians 13. Love does not insist on its own way. When we pressure or manipulate our partners, we are not acting in love, but in self-interest. Instead, we must strive to embody the selfless love of Christ, who "did not come to be served, but to serve" (Matthew 20:28).
Cultivate trust in God's timing and plan. The prophet Jeremiah reminds us, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11). When we truly believe that God is in control and has our best interests at heart, we can release our grip on trying to control outcomes.
Practice self-reflection and honesty. Ask yourself why you feel the need to pressure or manipulate. Is it rooted in fear, insecurity, or a lack of trust? Bring these feelings to God in prayer, asking for His healing and transformation. As the Psalmist says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!" (Psalm 139:23).
Focus on your own spiritual growth and personal development. Use this time to deepen your relationship with Christ and become the person God is calling you to be. As you grow in faith and maturity, you will be better equipped to enter into a healthy marriage when the time is right.
Communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your feelings and hopes, but do so without ultimatums or manipulative tactics. Express yourself with gentleness and respect, always being ready to listen and understand his perspective as well. Remember the wisdom of Proverbs: "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).
Respect your boyfriend's journey and timing. Each person's path to marriage readiness is unique, and forcing someone to move faster than they are prepared to can lead to resentment and problems in the future. Trust that if your relationship is meant to lead to marriage, it will unfold naturally in God's perfect timing.
Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a spiritual mentor. They can provide perspective and accountability, helping you navigate your emotions in a healthy way. Proverbs tells us, "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise" (Proverbs 13:20).
Finally, remember that your worth and completeness come from Christ alone, not from your relationship status. Saint Paul reminds us that we are "complete in Him" (Colossians 2:10). When we find our identity and fulfillment in Christ, we are less likely to place unhealthy expectations on our romantic relationships.
By focusing on love, patience, and trust in God's plan, you can create an environment where your relationship can flourish naturally, free from the burden of pressure and manipulation. May the peace of Christ guide your heart and mind as you navigate this journey.
What spiritual practices can help me be patient and content while waiting for a proposal?
The season of waiting can be a time of great spiritual growth and deepening of faith. While your heart may yearn for a proposal, remember that this time of anticipation is also a precious gift, an opportunity to draw closer to God and to prepare yourself for the vocation of marriage. Let us explore some spiritual practices that can nurture patience and contentment in your soul.
Immerse yourself in prayer. As our Lord Jesus taught us, we should "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Make your waiting an offering to God, bringing your hopes, fears, and desires before Him daily. Develop a rich prayer life that includes adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication. In the silence of prayer, listen for God's voice and guidance.
Meditate on Scripture, particularly passages that speak of God's faithfulness and the virtue of patience. The Psalms are a wonderful resource for this. Reflect on words such as, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14). Let the Word of God dwell in you richly, shaping your thoughts and attitudes.
Practice gratitude daily. In every circumstance, there is something for which we can thank God. Saint Paul exhorts us to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Keep a gratitude journal, writing down three things each day for which you are thankful. This practice can shift your focus from what you lack to the abundance God has already provided.
Engage in acts of service and charity. When we turn our attention to the needs of others, we often find that our own worries and impatience diminish. Look for opportunities to serve in your church or community. As you give of yourself, you may find a deeper sense of purpose and contentment. Remember the words of Jesus, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).
Cultivate spiritual friendships and seek mentorship from mature believers. Surround yourself with those who can encourage you in your faith and provide godly perspective. Proverbs reminds us, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17).
Practice fasting, not only from food but perhaps from activities or habits that may be distracting you from your spiritual growth. Use the time and energy you gain to focus on your relationship with God. Fasting can help clarify our priorities and strengthen our self-discipline.
Engage in contemplative practices such as Lectio Divina or the Examen prayer. These ancient spiritual disciplines can help you discern God's presence and activity in your daily life, fostering a deeper sense of trust in His plan.
Participate fully in the life of your church community. Regular worship, receiving the sacraments, and fellowship with other believers can provide strength and perspective during times of waiting. As the author of Hebrews encourages, "Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together" (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Finally, practice the art of living in the present moment. So often, we miss the blessings God has for us today because we are too focused on tomorrow. Jesus reminds us, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34).
Remember, this season of waiting is not merely about enduring until you receive a proposal. It is a time of preparation, growth, and deepening your relationship with God. Embrace it with joy and trust, knowing that God is working in you, "both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13). May these spiritual practices draw you ever closer to the heart of Christ, filling you with His peace and contentment.