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Summary
- Dreaming about a mother who has died is one of the most common experiences in bereavement, and it is not a message from her.
- Scripture forbids consulting the dead (Deuteronomy 18:11), treats Saul at Endor as a tragedy, and in Luke 16:31 refuses the request to send someone back.
- It takes grief seriously: David’s “I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23), and “Jesus wept” at a tomb he was about to open (John 11:35).
- 1 Thessalonians 4:13 does not say do not grieve. It says do not grieve like those who have no hope. The grief stays; what changes is what it grieves towards.
- Nothing is required of the dreamer. If grief has stopped moving after many months, or sleep has gone, that is worth telling a doctor or counsellor.
Bibliography (Click to show)
Sources: Scripture quotations from the NIV via BibleGateway (Deuteronomy 18:11; 1 Samuel 28; Luke 16:31; 2 Samuel 12:23; John 11:35; 1 Thessalonians 4:13; 2 Corinthians 5:8; 1 Corinthians 15; Revelation 21:4). The frequency of dreams of the deceased in bereavement, their concentration in the first year, and the mixed comforting and distressing responses to them are consistent findings in grief research. This article is not medical advice.
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