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Summary
- In the Song of Songs the woman says of the man she loves, “This is my beloved and this is my friend” (Song of Songs 5:16).
- Malachi calls a wife “your companion and your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14), and Proverbs 2:17 uses a Hebrew word for a close friend of a husband.
- Priscilla and Aquila, a married couple who worked as tentmakers, taught Apollos together, and Paul called them his “fellow workers in Christ Jesus” (Acts 18; Romans 16:3–4).
- Pope Francis called married love the “greatest form of friendship” (Amoris Laetitia 123), and the 1662 Book of Common Prayer names “mutual society, help, and comfort” as a purpose of marriage.
- The ELCA’s 2009 social statement says erotic interest in a friendship has to be faced honestly when either friend has promised fidelity to someone else.
- Economists Shawn Grover and John Helliwell found the well-being effects of marriage about twice as large when the spouse is also a best friend.
Bibliography (Click to show)
- Scripture quotations from the English Standard Version (Song of Songs 5:16; Malachi 2:14; Proverbs 2:17; Genesis 2:18, 24; Psalm 33:20; Psalm 121:2; Ecclesiastes 4:9–10; 9:9; John 15:15; Acts 18:2–3, 26; Romans 16:3–4; Proverbs 31:11, 28; 1 Peter 3:7; Matthew 5:28). Other mentions of Priscilla and Aquila: Acts 18:18; 1 Corinthians 16:19; 2 Timothy 4:19. https://www.biblegateway.com/
- Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew lexicon entries for chabereth (Strong’s 2278), alluph (Strong’s 441) and ezer (Strong’s 5828), via Bible Hub. https://biblehub.com/hebrew/2278.htm; https://biblehub.com/hebrew/441.htm; https://biblehub.com/hebrew/5828.htm
- Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia (2016), paragraph 123. https://www.vatican.va/content/dam/francesco/pdf/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20160319_amoris-laetitia_en.pdf
- Pope Paul VI, Humanae Vitae (1968), paragraph 9. https://www.vatican.va/content/paul-vi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html
- The Book of Common Prayer (1662), “The Form of Solemnization of Matrimony.” https://www.churchofengland.org/prayer-and-worship/worship-texts-and-resources/book-common-prayer/form-solemnization-matrimony
- The Westminster Confession of Faith, chapter 24, as published by the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. https://opc.org/wcf.html
- Southern Baptist Convention, The Baptist Faith and Message (2000), article XVIII. https://bfm.sbc.net/bfm2000/
- Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, A Social Statement on Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust (2009), section “Gender and friendships.” https://elcamediaresources.blob.core.windows.net/cdn/wp-content/uploads/SexualitySS.pdf
- Shawn Grover and John F. Helliwell, “How’s Life at Home? New Evidence on Marriage and the Set Point for Happiness,” Journal of Happiness Studies 20 (2019): 373–390; NBER Working Paper 20794 (2014). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-017-9941-3; https://www.nber.org/papers/w20794
- Danu Anthony Stinson, Jessica J. Cameron and Lisa B. Hoplock, “The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science,” Social Psychological and Personality Science 13, no. 2 (2022): 562–571. https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506211026992
