Is Dating Biblical? Perspectives on Dating and Courtship

What principles does the Bible provide for romantic relationships before marriage?

While the Bible does not provide explicit instructions for romantic relationships as we understand them today, it offers timeless wisdom to guide us in pursuing godly partnerships. At the heart of biblical teaching on relationships is the call to love God above all else and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40). This foundational principle should shape how we approach romantic relationships.

We must recognize that our primary relationship is with God. As Saint Paul reminds us, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This means that in all our relationships, including romantic ones, we must seek to honor God and reflect His love.

The Bible also emphasizes the importance of purity and self-control. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, we are instructed: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God. ” This calls us to approach romantic relationships with reverence and respect, guarding our hearts and bodies. The concept of sexual immorality in the Bible extends beyond physical actions and encompasses the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Jesus also addresses this in Matthew 5:27-28, stating, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. ‘ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ” This challenges us to not only abstain from physical acts of sexual immorality, but also to guard our minds and hearts from impure thoughts and desires.

The Scriptures encourage us to seek wisdom and counsel in our relationships. Proverbs 15:22 tells us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” This suggests the importance of involving trusted mentors, family members, and spiritual leaders in our romantic pursuits.

We also find in the Bible the principle of equality and mutual respect in relationships. Ephesians 5:21 exhorts us to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This teaches us that healthy relationships are built on mutual love, respect, and service, rather than domination or selfishness.

Finally, let us remember the beautiful description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” This passage provides a blueprint for how we should treat one another in all relationships, especially romantic ones.

In applying these principles, we cultivate relationships that honor God and reflect His love to the world. Let us strive to embody these teachings in our pursuit of romantic love, always keeping our eyes fixed on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith.

How does biblical courtship differ from modern dating practices?

The concept of biblical courtship, while not explicitly defined in Scripture, draws upon biblical principles to create a model of romantic relationship that differs significantly from many modern dating practices. Let us explore these differences with open hearts and minds, seeking to understand how we might honor God in our pursuit of marriage.

At its core, biblical courtship is intentional and purposeful, with marriage as its clear goal from the outset. This stands in contrast to many modern dating practices, which often begin casually and may or may not have a defined purpose. In Proverbs 19:21, we are reminded, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Biblical courtship seeks to align our intentions with God’s purpose for marriage.

Another key difference lies in the involvement of family and community. In biblical courtship, parents and spiritual mentors play a major role in guiding and supporting the couple. We see examples of this in the Old Testament, such as in the story of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24). Modern dating, on the other hand, often occurs in isolation from family and community input. The wisdom of Proverbs 15:22 reminds us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Biblical courtship also places a strong emphasis on emotional and physical purity. While modern dating often involves varying degrees of physical intimacy, biblical courtship encourages couples to guard their hearts and bodies. As Paul exhorts in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”

Biblical courtship focuses on getting to know one another’s character and faith, rather than simply seeking emotional or physical attraction. It encourages couples to evaluate their compatibility in light of their shared faith and values. This aligns with Paul’s instruction in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

In biblical courtship, there is also a greater emphasis on accountability. Couples are encouraged to be open about their relationship with their families, church community, and mentors. This transparency helps to ensure that the relationship remains God-honoring and provides a support system for the couple. In contrast, modern dating often values privacy and independence.

Lastly, biblical courtship recognizes the sovereignty of God in the process of finding a spouse. It encourages individuals to trust in God’s timing and guidance, rather than taking matters into their own hands. As Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

While these differences may seem challenging in our modern context, they offer a path to building strong, God-centered relationships. Let us remember that our ultimate goal is not merely to find a spouse, but to glorify God in all our relationships. As we navigate the complexities of romantic relationships, may we always seek to align our practices with biblical principles, trusting in God’s wisdom and guidance.

What role should parents and community play in Christian dating/courtship?

The role of parents and community in Christian dating and courtship is a matter of great importance, reflecting the biblical principle that we are not meant to journey through life alone, but in communion with one another and with God. Let us reflect on how we can embrace the wisdom and support of our families and faith communities in this sacred journey towards marriage.

We must recognize that parents are entrusted by God with the responsibility of guiding and nurturing their children. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” This guidance extends to matters of the heart, including romantic relationships. Parents, with their life experience and deep love for their children, can offer valuable insights and counsel.

In the context of Christian dating or courtship, parents can play several crucial roles:

1. Mentorship: Parents can share their own experiences, both successes and failures, to help their children navigate the complexities of relationships.
2. Protection: Parents can help safeguard their children’s hearts and reputations by setting appropriate boundaries and expectations.
3. Discernment: With their broader life perspective, parents can often see potential issues or compatibilities that young people, caught up in the emotions of new love, might overlook.
4. Prayer support: Parents are called to intercede for their children, and this includes praying for wisdom and guidance in their romantic relationships.

But it is important to strike a balance. While parental involvement is valuable, it should not become overbearing or controlling. As young adults mature, they must also learn to make their own decisions and take responsibility for their choices.

The broader faith community also has a major role to play in Christian dating and courtship. In Hebrews 10:24-25, we are exhorted, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” This principle of mutual encouragement and accountability applies to all aspects of our lives, including our romantic relationships.

The community of faith can contribute in several ways:

1. Providing godly examples: Married couples in the church can model healthy, Christ-centered relationships for young people.
2. Offering wisdom and counsel: Spiritual leaders and mature believers can provide guidance based on biblical principles and life experience.
3. Creating a supportive environment: The church community can offer a safe space for young couples to grow together in faith and love.
4. Accountability: Fellow believers can help couples stay true to their commitments and maintain purity in their relationships.
5. Practical support: The community can assist with chaperoning, organizing group activities, and providing venues for appropriate interaction.

It is crucial, But that this community involvement be characterized by love, grace, and respect for the couple’s growing independence. The goal is not to control, but to support and guide.

Let us remember that while parents and community play important roles, each individual is responsible before God for their choices in relationships. As it says in Galatians 6:5, “for each one should carry their own load.” The role of parents and community is to equip, support, and guide, but not to make decisions for the couple.

How can Christians pursue purity and maintain sexual boundaries while dating?

The pursuit of purity and the maintenance of sexual boundaries in dating relationships is a noble and challenging endeavor, one that requires steadfast commitment, spiritual strength, and the grace of God. Let us reflect on how we can honor God with our bodies and our relationships, even as we navigate the complex emotions and desires that come with romantic love.

We must root ourselves firmly in the Word of God. As Psalm 119:9 asks, “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.” The Scriptures provide us with clear guidance on sexual purity. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, we are instructed: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”

To pursue purity, we must first cultivate a deep and abiding relationship with God. When we are filled with the love of Christ, we are better equipped to resist temptation and honor God with our choices. As Jesus taught us, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). This purity of heart extends to our thoughts, actions, and intentions in romantic relationships.

Practical steps for maintaining sexual boundaries while dating include:

1. Setting clear boundaries: Couples should have open, honest discussions about their physical boundaries early in the relationship. These boundaries should be based on biblical principles and mutual respect.
2. Accountability: Involve trusted friends, family members, or mentors who can provide support and hold you accountable to your commitments.
3. Avoiding temptation: Be wise about the situations you put yourselves in. As Paul advises in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality.”
4. Guarding your mind: Be cautious about the media you consume and the conversations you engage in. As Philippians 4:8 instructs, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
5. Practicing self-control: Recognize that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and seek God’s help in developing this virtue.
6. Focusing on emotional and spiritual intimacy: Build a strong foundation of friendship, shared faith, and mutual respect.
7. Seeking forgiveness and renewal: If you stumble, remember that God’s grace is sufficient. Confess, seek forgiveness, and recommit to purity.

It’s important to remember, that purity is not merely about following a set of rules, but about honoring God and respecting the dignity of ourselves and others. As Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

We must recognize that the pursuit of purity is not a solitary journey. We need the support and encouragement of our Christian community. Hebrews 10:24-25 exhorts us, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Lastly, let us remember that purity and sexual boundaries are not meant to restrict our joy, but to protect and enhance it. God’s design for sexuality within the covenant of marriage is beautiful and sacred. By honoring these boundaries in our dating relationships, we prepare ourselves for the full expression of love and intimacy that God intends for marriage.

The path of purity is not always easy, but it is always worth it. As you navigate your romantic relationships, may you always seek to honor God, respect one another, and cultivate a love that reflects the purity and selflessness of Christ’s love for His church.

What qualities should Christians look for in a potential spouse according to Scripture?

A shared faith in Christ should be the foundation of any Christian marriage. As Paul exhorts in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” This shared faith ensures that both partners are committed to building a life and family centered on God’s love and teachings.

Beyond this foundational requirement, the Scriptures highlight several key qualities to seek in a potential spouse:

1. Godly Character: Proverbs 31:30 reminds us, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” This principle applies equally to men. Look for someone who demonstrates a genuine love for God and strives to live according to His will.
2. Wisdom and Discernment: Proverbs 4:7 states, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” A spouse who seeks wisdom and understanding is better equipped to navigate life’s challenges and make godly decisions.
3. Kindness and Compassion: Ephesians 4:32 instructs us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” These qualities are essential for building a loving, lasting relationship.
4. Integrity and Honesty: Proverbs 10:9 says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” A spouse of integrity provides a foundation of trust and security in marriage.
5. Humility: Philippians 2:3-4 exhorts, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Humility is crucial for resolving conflicts and growing together in marriage.
6. Diligence and Responsibility: 2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 speaks to the importance of work and responsibility. A potential spouse should demonstrate a strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility in their personal and professional life.
7. Self-Control: Galatians 5:22-23 lists self-control as a fruit of the Spirit. This quality is vital for maintaining purity before marriage and faithfulness within it.
8. Generosity: 2 Corinthians 9:7 reminds us, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” A generous spirit reflects a heart aligned with God’s love.
9. Patience and Forgiveness: Colossians 3:13 instructs, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” These qualities are essential for navigating the challenges of married life.

How can dating couples grow spiritually together and keep God at the center of their relationship?

The journey of romantic love is a beautiful gift from God, but it must be nurtured with great care and intention. For dating couples seeking to grow spiritually together, I offer this counsel: Make Christ the foundation of your relationship. As our Lord Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

Begin by praying together regularly. Open your hearts to God as a couple, sharing your joys, struggles, and hopes. Let prayer be the lifeblood of your relationship. Study Scripture together, reflecting on God’s word and how it applies to your lives and relationship. As you read, discuss, and meditate on the Bible, you will grow closer to each other and to the Lord.

Attend church services together, immersing yourselves in worship and fellowship with other believers. Engage in acts of service as a couple, reaching out to those in need in your community. By serving others, you will strengthen your bond and grow in Christ-like love.

Seek spiritual mentorship from mature Christian couples or leaders in your church. Their wisdom and example can guide you as you navigate the joys and challenges of a godly relationship. Be accountable to each other and to trusted friends, encouraging one another in your individual walks with Christ.

Remember, that your relationship should draw you closer to God, not distract you from Him. Encourage each other’s personal spiritual growth, respecting that each of you has a unique journey with the Lord. Celebrate the ways God is working in your lives individually and as a couple.

Finally, practice forgiveness and grace, for these are at the heart of Christ’s love for us. When conflicts arise, turn to God together, seeking His wisdom and healing. Let your love for each other be a reflection of God’s love, patient and kind, not self-seeking, but always protecting, trusting, hoping, and persevering (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

By centering your relationship on Christ, you build a foundation that will sustain you through all of life’s joys and trials. May your love for each other always lead you into a deeper love for God (Irhas et al., 2023; Zeligman et al., 2019).

What does the Bible say about physical intimacy and appropriate displays of affection before marriage?

The question of physical intimacy before marriage is one that many young people grapple with in their journey of faith and love. The Bible speaks to us with both wisdom and compassion on this matter, guiding us towards a path of purity and respect for the sacred gift of our bodies. Many people wonder, “is kissing before marriage wrong? ” This is a valid question and one that each person must prayerfully consider for themselves. However, it is important to remember that the decision about physical intimacy should be made thoughtfully and with the understanding that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. It is a choice that should be made with reverence for the gift of sex and the commitment of marriage. The Bible’s perspective on premarital intimacy reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and should be honored and preserved for the covenant of marriage. This teaches us to value ourselves and our future spouse, and to approach physical intimacy with reverence and intentionality. By following the guidelines set forth in scripture, we can cultivate a deeper sense of intimacy and trust within our relationships, while also honoring God’s design for love and sexuality.

We must remember that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This beautiful truth calls us to honor God with our bodies, treating them and the bodies of others with reverence and respect. The Bible consistently upholds the sanctity of sexual intimacy within the covenant of marriage. As we read in Hebrews 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.”

But this does not mean that all physical affection is forbidden before marriage. The Song of Solomon, a poetic celebration of romantic love, speaks of embraces, kisses, and the joy of physical closeness. Yet it also wisely counsels, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Solomon 8:4). This teaches us the importance of patience and self-control in our expressions of affection.

As you navigate the waters of romantic relationships, I urge you to consider the principle of purity in all your actions. Ask yourselves: Does this action honor God and respect the dignity of my partner? Does it lead us towards greater holiness or tempt us towards sin? Remember the words of Saint Paul: “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Appropriate displays of affection before marriage might include holding hands, embracing, and modest kisses. These can be beautiful expressions of care and commitment when done with pure intentions. But be vigilant against actions that arouse sexual desire outside the context of marriage. Guard against passionate kissing, caressing of intimate areas, or any behavior that might lead to sexual arousal or activity.

It is also crucial to consider the impact of your actions on others. Saint Paul advises us not to put a stumbling block in another’s way (Romans 14:13). Your displays of affection should not cause discomfort or temptation for those around you.

I know that maintaining purity in a world that often devalues it can be challenging. But take heart! God’s grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). Seek His strength, surround yourselves with supportive Christian community, and be accountable to one another.

Remember, physical intimacy is a precious gift from God, designed to be fully expressed within the safety and commitment of marriage. By honoring this design, you prepare yourselves for a deeper, more fulfilling union in the future. May your love for each other always reflect the pure and selfless love of Christ (Lim, 2018; Ooga, 2022).

How should Christians navigate the process of getting to know someone romantically while guarding their hearts?

The journey of getting to know someone romantically is both exciting and delicate. It is a time of discovery, hope, and vulnerability. As you embark on this path, remember the wisdom of Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Anchor yourselves in prayer. Seek God’s guidance and wisdom as you begin to explore a potential relationship. Ask Him to reveal His will and to guard your heart against unwise attachments. Remember, your primary relationship is with the Lord. No earthly relationship should overshadow or replace your devotion to Him.

As you get to know someone, proceed with intentionality and clarity. Be honest about your intentions and expectations. Are you seeking a relationship that could lead to marriage? Or are you simply enjoying companionship? Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and protect both hearts involved.

Take time to truly know the other person’s character. Observe how they treat others, how they handle stress, and how they live out their faith. Do their actions align with their professed beliefs? As Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matthew 7:16). Look for evidence of the fruits of the Spirit in their life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Guard against premature emotional intimacy. While it’s natural to share your thoughts and feelings, be cautious about revealing your deepest vulnerabilities too quickly. Emotional intimacy should develop gradually, in step with commitment. Remember, trust is earned over time.

Seek wisdom from mature Christians who know you well. They can offer valuable insights and help you maintain perspective. As Proverbs 15:22 tells us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Be mindful of physical boundaries. As discussed earlier, maintain purity in your interactions. Physical intimacy can create strong emotional bonds, even when a deep commitment is not yet present. Guard your heart by guarding your body.

Maintain a full life outside of the budding relationship. Continue to invest in your friendships, family relationships, work or studies, and personal interests. This helps maintain a healthy perspective and prevents the relationship from becoming all-consuming.

Above all, keep your identity rooted in Christ. Your worth and completeness come from Him, not from any romantic relationship. As Saint Paul reminds us, “In Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith” (Galatians 3:26). This truth will help you approach relationships from a place of security rather than neediness.

If the relationship doesn’t progress as hoped, remember that disappointment is not defeat. Trust in God’s plan for your life, knowing that He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Navigating romantic relationships while guarding your heart is a delicate balance. It requires wisdom, discernment, and a continual surrender to God’s will. May you find joy in the journey, always keeping your eyes fixed on Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith (Andrews, 2011; Eaton, 1999).

What biblical examples or models exist for godly relationships leading to marriage?

The Holy Scriptures provide us with beautiful examples of godly relationships that can inspire and guide us in our own journeys towards marriage. These stories, while set in different times and cultures, reveal timeless truths about love, faith, and commitment that remain relevant for us today.

Let us first consider the story of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24). This account demonstrates the importance of seeking God’s guidance in finding a spouse. Abraham, Isaac’s father, sent his servant to find a wife for his son, instructing him to rely on God’s providence. The servant prayed for a sign, which God graciously provided in Rebekah. This story teaches us the value of entrusting our romantic futures to God’s hands and being attentive to His leading.

The book of Ruth offers another powerful example in the relationship between Ruth and Boaz. Their story is one of mutual respect, kindness, and honor. Boaz treated Ruth, a foreign widow, with great compassion and dignity. Ruth, in turn, demonstrated loyalty and virtue. Their relationship was built on a foundation of shared faith and commitment to God’s laws. From their union came the lineage of King David and our Lord Jesus Christ. This reminds us that godly relationships can have far-reaching impacts beyond what we can imagine.

The Song of Solomon provides a poetic celebration of romantic love within the context of marriage. It depicts the beauty of emotional and physical intimacy when expressed in the right time and manner. The repeated refrain, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4), emphasizes the importance of patience and proper timing in romantic relationships.

In the New Testament, we find guidance in the example of Mary and Joseph. Their betrothal faced an unexpected challenge with Mary’s miraculous pregnancy, yet Joseph’s righteousness and obedience to God’s message through the angel demonstrate the importance of faith, trust, and sacrificial love in a relationship (Matthew 1:18-25).

While not a married couple, the friendship between Ruth and Naomi offers a beautiful picture of loyalty, commitment, and sacrificial love that are essential in any godly relationship. Ruth’s famous words, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16), express a depth of commitment that should be present in marriages.

The relationship between Priscilla and Aquila in the book of Acts provides an example of a couple united in their faith and ministry. They worked, traveled, and taught together, demonstrating how a married couple can partner in serving God (Acts 18:2-3, 18, 26).

Lastly, while not a human relationship, the Bible often uses the metaphor of marriage to describe God’s relationship with His people. This ultimate example teaches us about unconditional love, forgiveness, faithfulness, and the depth of commitment God desires in marriage.

These biblical examples show us that godly relationships leading to marriage are characterized by faith in God, mutual respect, commitment, purity, and a shared devotion to serving the Lord. They remind us that our earthly relationships should reflect the love of Christ for His church (Ephesians 5:25-33).

As you seek to build godly relationships, look to these examples for inspiration. Remember, But that no human relationship is perfect. Each of these biblical couples faced challenges and made mistakes. What set them apart was their commitment to God and to each other. May your own relationships be rooted in this same foundation, always seeking to honor God in your love for one another (Leung, 2015; Wirenius, 2014).

How can Christians discern God’s will and timing when it comes to pursuing a relationship or marriage?

Discerning God’s will and timing in matters of the heart is a journey that requires patience, wisdom, and a deep trust in the Lord’s guidance. As you seek to understand His plan for your relationships and potential marriage, remember the words of Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Cultivate a close relationship with God through prayer and meditation on His Word. It is in the quiet moments of communion with the Lord that we often hear His voice most clearly. Make it a habit to bring your desires, doubts, and decisions before Him in prayer. Ask for wisdom, for as James 1:5 promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Pay attention to the peace in your heart. Saint Paul speaks of “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). When you are aligned with God’s will, there is often a sense of deep peace, even amidst uncertainty. This doesn’t mean you won’t have doubts or fears, but there will be an underlying assurance of God’s presence and guidance.

Seek counsel from mature Christians who know you well and can offer godly advice. Proverbs 15:22 reminds us, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Your pastor, spiritual mentors, or wise family members can often see things from a perspective you might miss and can help you discern if you’re ready for a relationship or marriage.

Consider the fruit of the relationship. Is it drawing you closer to God or distracting you from your faith? Does it encourage you to grow in virtue and holiness? A relationship that is in God’s will should bear good fruit in your life and in the life of your partner.

Be attentive to the circumstances God places in your path. While we should not rely solely on circumstances to discern God’s will, He often uses situations and opportunities to guide us. Are doors opening or closing in ways that seem to indicate God’s direction?

Examine your motives. Are you seeking a relationship or marriage out of a desire to honor God and serve Him better together? Or are you driven by fear, loneliness, or societal pressure? God’s will for us always aligns with His desire for our holiness and His glory.

Consider your readiness for the commitment of a relationship or marriage. Are you spiritually, emotionally, and practically prepared for this step? God’s timing often aligns with our maturity and preparedness.

Be patient and trust in God’s perfect timing. Remember the story of Abraham and Sarah, who had to wait many years for the fulfillment of God’s promise. Isaiah 40:31 encourages us, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Discerning God’s will and timing is not always easy or clear. It requires a combination of prayerful seeking, wise counsel, self-reflection, and trust in God’s faithfulness. Remember that God loves you and desires your good. His plan for you is one of hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

If you feel God is leading you towards a relationship or marriage, move forward in faith, continuing to seek His guidance at every step. If you sense that it’s not the right time, trust in His wisdom and continue to grow in your faith and personal development.

Above all, keep your heart open to God’s leading, knowing that His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). May you find joy and peace in the journey of discernment, trusting that the God who created love itself will guide you in your pursuit of a godly relationship and, if it be His will, a Christ-centered marriage (Powers et al., 2006; Williams, 2021).