Forgiveness vs Reconciliation: Forgiving Is Not Going Back



  • Forgiveness lets go of what someone owes you for a wrong, and Jesus asks it of us without limit.
  • Reconciliation restores the relationship, and it needs both people, including real repentance from the one who did the harm.
  • David spared King Saul twice and left the judgment to God, but when Saul said “return”, David went on his way and did not go back.
  • Forgiving someone does not mean forgetting, trusting them again before they have changed, or staying where you are not safe.
  • The Catholic bishops of the United States teach that no one is expected to stay in an abusive marriage, and the Southern Baptist Convention urges abuse victims to separate from their abusers and contact the authorities.
  • If you are in danger in the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline answers day and night at 1-800-799-7233.

Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things. Forgiving means letting go of what someone owes you for the wrong they did, and Jesus asks it of us without limit. Reconciliation means the relationship is restored, and that takes two people: the one who did the wrong has to turn from it. You can forgive someone and still stay away. If someone is hurting you now, or you are being told that forgiving means going back to a person who is…

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