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Summary
- The Bible never mentions dating or breaking up, and no verse tells an unmarried couple they must stay together.
- Betrothal in the Bible bound far more tightly than dating, yet Matthew calls Joseph “a just man” when he resolved to end his betrothal to Mary quietly (Matthew 1:19).
- Catholic canon law lets no one force a wedding after an engagement ends (canon 1062), and the Westminster Confession allows an engagement to be dissolved for unfaithfulness (24.5).
- Pope Francis wrote in Amoris Laetitia (2016) of “the wisdom of breaking off a relationship whose failure and painful aftermath can be foreseen.”
- What Scripture asks of us is how we end it: truthfully and kindly (Ephesians 4:15, 25; Matthew 7:12).
- Divorce is a separate question, and the Catholic, Orthodox and Reformed churches each apply Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19 in their own way.
Bibliography (Click to show)
- Scripture quotations from the English Standard Version (Deuteronomy 22:24; Ecclesiastes 5:5; Matthew 1:19; 5:37; 7:12; 19:6, 9; Romans 12:18; 1 Corinthians 7:10–11, 15, 39; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Ephesians 4:15, 25; Colossians 3:9; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). https://www.biblegateway.com/
- Code of Canon Law (1983), canons 1057, 1062 and 1153. https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann998-1165_en.html
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs 2350, 2383 and 2384. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM
- Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, post-synodal apostolic exhortation (19 March 2016), paragraph 209. https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20160319_amoris-laetitia.html
- United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women (1992; updated 2002). https://www.usccb.org/topics/marriage-and-family-life-ministries/when-i-call-help-pastoral-response-domestic-violence
- The Westminster Confession of Faith (1646), chapter 24, “Of Marriage and Divorce,” sections 3, 5 and 6, in the text of the Orthodox Presbyterian Church. https://www.opc.org/wcf.html
- Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, “Instructions for Weddings, Divorces, Baptisms, Funerals, and Memorials.” https://www.goarch.org/-/instructions-for-weddings-divorces-baptisms-funerals-and-memorials
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