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Summary
- No verse in the Bible forbids a Christian to stay friends with a former boyfriend or girlfriend.
- Scripture describes betrothal and marriage, not dating; its rules on separation (1 Corinthians 7:10–11) concern spouses.
- Passages on guarding the heart, lust and sexual immorality apply where romantic feelings remain (Proverbs 4:23; Matthew 5:28; 1 Corinthians 6:18).
- Scripture commands forgiveness but does not say forgiveness requires a close friendship; Abram and Lot, and Paul and Barnabas, parted without enmity.
- The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America says conflicts from romantic interest must be “faced honestly” when either person has promised fidelity to someone else.
- A 2017 study found that staying friends out of unresolved romantic desire was linked to negative outcomes.
Bibliography (Click to show)
- Scripture quotations from the English Standard Version (Matthew 1:19–20; 6:15; 5:28; 1 Corinthians 6:18; 7:10–11; 15:33; Proverbs 4:23; 13:20; 22:24–25; Philippians 2:4; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13; Romans 12:18; Genesis 13:8–9; Acts 15:36–39; 2 Timothy 4:11). https://www.biblegateway.com/
- Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, A Social Statement on Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust (2009), section “Gender and friendships.” https://elcamediaresources.blob.core.windows.net/cdn/wp-content/uploads/SexualitySS.pdf
- Rebecca L. Griffith, Omri Gillath, Xian Zhao and Richard Martinez, “Staying friends with ex-romantic partners: Predictors, reasons, and outcomes,” Personal Relationships 24, no. 3 (2017): 550–584. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12197
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