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Summary
- Scripture does not describe dating, and church teaching protects the freedom not to marry: under Catholic canon law even an engagement does not oblige anyone to marry (canon 1062).
- Jesus said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate,” and allowed an exception for sexual immorality in Matthew’s account (Matthew 19:6, 9).
- The Catholic Church permits separation, including for grave danger to a spouse or the children (canon 1153); the Orthodox Church in America may eventually allow a divorced person to remarry; the Westminster Confession allows divorce for adultery or willful desertion.
- The U.S. Catholic bishops teach that “no person is expected to stay in an abusive marriage.”
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or text START to 88788.
- A 1995 study found that children of high-conflict marriages fared better as young adults if their parents divorced, and children of low-conflict marriages fared better if they stayed together.
Bibliography (Click to show)
- Scripture quotations from the English Standard Version (Mark 10:9, 11–12; Matthew 18:21–22; 19:3–9; 1 Corinthians 7:10–15, 39; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Proverbs 15:22).
- Code of Canon Law, canons 1062, 1141 and 1151–1155. https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann998-1165_en.html
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1628–1629, 2350 and 2383–2386. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P53.HTM, https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P85.HTM and https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P87.HTM
- United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women (2002). https://www.usccb.org/topics/marriage-and-family-life-ministries/when-i-call-help-pastoral-response-domestic-violence
- Holy Synod of the Orthodox Church in America, “On Marriage,” section F, “Divorce and Remarriage.” https://www.oca.org/holy-synod/encyclicals/on-marriage
- Westminster Confession of Faith, chapter 24, “Of Marriage and Divorce,” sections 3, 5 and 6. https://opc.org/wcf.html
- National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/
- Joel, Samantha, Geoff MacDonald and Elizabeth Page-Gould, “Wanting to Stay and Wanting to Go: Unpacking the Content and Structure of Relationship Stay/Leave Decision Processes,” Social Psychological and Personality Science 9, no. 6 (2018): 631–644, first published online 2017. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550617722834
- Amato, Paul R., Laura Spencer Loomis and Alan Booth, “Parental Divorce, Marital Conflict, and Offspring Well-being during Early Adulthood,” Social Forces 73, no. 3 (1995). https://doi.org/10.2307/2580551
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