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Japanese The Bible forbids a husband to mistreat his wife. Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them,” and Ephesians 5:25-29 measures that love by Christ’s love for the church.
Malachi 2:13-16 calls a man’s betrayal of his wife violence, and 1 Peter 3:7 warns that the way a husband treats his wife can hinder his prayers. Behind the commands to husbands stand Genesis 1:27, where male and female alike are made in God’s image, and Genesis 2:24, where husband and wife become one flesh. The law of Moses already protected a wife from neglect: Exodus 21:10-11 required her food, clothing and marital rights to continue, and set her free if her husband withheld them.
What husbands are told to do
Colossians 3:19
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Reflection: The command comes in the household instructions that begin at Colossians 3:18, and it has two halves: love your wife, and do not be harsh with her. The Greek verb behind “harsh” is pikraino, to make bitter or embitter. A few verses earlier, 3:8 tells the same readers to rid themselves of “anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language,” and 3:12 to clothe themselves with “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”
Reflection: Paul’s instruction to husbands follows 5:21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” and a word to wives in 5:22-24. The measure he sets for a husband’s love is Christ, who “gave himself up for her.” Verses 26-27 go on to say what Christ does for the church: he makes her holy and presents her “without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish.”
Ephesians 5:28-29
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church”
Reflection: Here the comparison moves from Christ to the husband’s own body. No one hates his own body; he feeds it and cares for it, and a husband is to treat his wife the same way. Verse 31 quotes Genesis 2:24 on the two becoming one flesh, and verse 33 repeats the command: “each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself.”
When God will not hear a man who wrongs his wife
Malachi 2:13-14
“Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, ‘Why?’ It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.”
Reflection: Malachi speaks to men who weep at the altar because God no longer accepts their offerings. The answer to their “Why?” is the way they have treated their wives: the LORD was witness to the marriage, and they have been unfaithful to “the wife of your marriage covenant.” Verse 15 repeats the charge: “do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.”
Malachi 2:16
“‘The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
Reflection: The NIV reads the verse as the LORD’s verdict on a man who hates and divorces his wife: he “does violence to the one he should protect.” The Hebrew noun is chamas, violence or wrong, the word Genesis 6:11 uses for the violence that filled the earth before the flood. Translations differ over the opening line. In the King James Version the LORD “saith that he hateth putting away,” so the hatred is God’s, of divorce, while the English Standard Version reads “the man who does not love his wife but divorces her.” Both keep the word violence: the KJV has “one covereth violence with his garment,” and the ESV “covers his garment with violence.”
1 Peter 3:7
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Reflection: Peter writes to husbands after instructing wives, some of whose husbands “do not believe the word” (3:1). A husband is to be considerate and to give his wife respect, as the weaker partner and as an heir with him of “the gracious gift of life.” The last clause ties his treatment of her to his own prayers: “so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
1 John 4:20
“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”
Reflection: John’s letter does not mention marriage. It calls a claim to love God a lie when it sits alongside hatred of a brother or sister, and the next verse makes the point a command: “Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” In 1 Peter 3:7 a believing wife is an heir with her husband of the gracious gift of life.
Provision and faithfulness owed to a wife
Exodus 21:10
“If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.”
Reflection: The law in Exodus 21:7-11 concerns a daughter sold as a servant and then taken as a wife. If her husband later marries another woman, he must still give the first wife food, clothing and marital rights, and verse 11 sets the remedy if he does not: “she is to go free, without any payment of money.” Verse 8 forbids her master to sell her to foreigners “because he has broken faith with her.”
Proverbs 5:18-19
“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”
Reflection: Proverbs 5 is addressed to “my son” (5:20) and warns him against adultery; verses 15-17 picture marriage as a man’s own well, “never to be shared with strangers.” The answer to wandering is delight in “the wife of your youth,” the same phrase Malachi 2:14 uses. Verse 21 adds that a man’s ways “are in full view of the LORD.”
Made in one image, joined as one flesh
Genesis 1:27
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Reflection: Male and female are both made in God’s image, and the blessing and the charge to rule in verse 28 are given to both of them: “God blessed them and said to them.” Nothing in the verse places the image in one more than the other.
Genesis 2:24
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
Reflection: The verse follows the man’s words over the woman God brought to him: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” A man leaves his parents and is united to his wife, and the two become one flesh. Jesus quotes it in Mark 10:7-8 when Pharisees ask whether a man may divorce his wife, and Paul in Ephesians 5:31, after telling husbands to love their wives as their own bodies.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”
Reflection: Paul is answering matters the Corinthians had written to him about (7:1). Each spouse owes the other, and each yields authority over his or her own body to the other: the wife to her husband and the husband to his wife. Verse 5 forbids depriving each other except “by mutual consent and for a time.”
Anger, bitterness and harsh words
Ephesians 4:31-32
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Reflection: The list closes a passage on speech: verse 29 forbids “unwholesome talk” and asks for words “helpful for building others up.” Bitterness (Greek pikria) heads the list, followed by rage, anger, brawling, slander and malice. Verse 32 names what replaces them: kindness, compassion and forgiveness, measured by the way God forgave in Christ.
Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Reflection: The proverb sets two answers side by side and gives the result of each: a gentle one turns away wrath, and a harsh word stirs up anger. It is about speech in general.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Reflection: Paul describes love to the church at Corinth between his chapters on gifts of the Spirit (12 and 14). Much of the description says what love does not do: it does not dishonor others, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Verse 7 adds that it “always protects.”
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