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Japanese An engagement is a promise to marry, and Christians mark it by asking God to bless the couple as they prepare for their wedding. Parents, friends or a pastor can say a short blessing at the engagement party or write one in a card, and the couple can pray together in the months before the wedding.
It is a fitting thing to pray over, because God uses the same word for his own love. Through the prophet Hosea he says to his people, “And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies” (Hosea 2:19). A couple’s promise to each other is a small likeness of that one.
This short blessing for a newly engaged couple is newly written, not a traditional prayer. Say their names where it says Name and Name.
Lord God, we thank You for Name and Name and for the promise they have made to each other. Bless them as they prepare for their wedding. Give them patience and honesty with each other, wisdom in every plan they make, and joy in these months together. Keep them close to You, and bring them safely to the day they marry. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
This second prayer, also new, is for the two of them to pray together:
Lord, thank You for bringing us to each other. As we prepare to marry, teach us to listen well, to speak the truth in love and to forgive quickly. Guide our plans for the wedding and for the life beyond it. Keep us faithful to each other now, and make us ready to make our vows before You. Amen.
How do the churches bless an engagement?
The Catholic, Eastern Orthodox and Coptic Orthodox churches each have a blessing or a service for an engaged couple. They differ in who leads it and how close it stands to the wedding.
The Catholic blessing of an engaged couple
The Catholic Church has an Order for the Blessing of an Engaged Couple, printed in the Book of Blessings and, in the newer English translation, as an appendix to the Order of Celebrating Matrimony. It is a family celebration, and when the two families gather, a parent may lead it. If a priest or deacon is present, it is more fitting for him to lead, so long as everyone understands that the blessing is not the wedding itself. Another layperson may also lead it. After a greeting comes a reading from Scripture, such as Jesus’ words “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you” (John 15:9) or Paul’s praise of love in 1 Corinthians 13, and then prayers for the couple.
The couple may then give each other a sign of their promise, such as rings or other gifts, and these may be blessed. The closing prayer asks that the two grow in respect and true love for each other and come happily to the sacrament of marriage. The blessing is never joined to a Mass. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that “Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence,” and asks them to see the engagement as “a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God” (Catechism 2350). Fidelity, in other words, is learned before it is vowed.
The Orthodox betrothal
In the Orthodox Church the betrothal is the first part of the marriage service. Betrothal and crowning were once separate rites, explains Fr Alciviadis Calivas, writing for the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, and the practice of drawing them “into a single liturgical event, separate from the Eucharist, began in the tenth century. It soon became common place, and finally, the norm.” The betrothal, he writes, “is characterized by the exchange and the putting on of rings”, which are “the sign of the couples’ voluntary pledge to enter into marriage”.
In the service of the Orthodox Church in America, the betrothal takes place in the narthex, at the back of the church. The priest blesses the couple with the rings, betroths each to the other three times in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and places the rings on their right hands. The prayer that follows remembers how God led Abraham’s servant to Rebecca, the bride he found for Isaac. The rest of the service is described in the Orthodox wedding ceremony.
The Coptic engagement service
The Coptic Orthodox Church keeps its own rite of betrothal. As the Heritage of the Coptic Orthodox Church describes it, the priest first makes sure the couple meet the church’s conditions for marriage and are both willing. He then writes an official document giving their ages and the date of the wedding, and the couple, their parents and the witnesses sign it. The priest announces the betrothal in the name of Christ, and the service continues with litanies, the Lord’s Prayer, the prayer of thanksgiving, hymns asking God to bless the betrothal, and prayers over the couple. It ends with a prayer of blessing.
Where a church has no set service for an engagement, a pastor, a parent or a friend can bless the couple in their own words, or with the prayers that follow.
Which prayer fits which time in the engagement?
The twelve longer prayers further down keep their old order, so here they are by time and need. Most are written for others to pray over the couple. Two use the couple’s own voice: the prayer for protection against challenges is in their words throughout, and the prayer for fertility opens in their words before it prays for them.
- When the engagement is announced: Thanksgiving for their Love and Union; Engagement to be a Foundation of Love, Trust, and Respect; God’s Presence in their Life and Future Marriage.
- While they prepare: Becoming One in Spirit; Wisdom and Guidance in their Joint Decisions; Selfless Love and Commitment toward Each Other.
- For their life after the wedding: God’s Blessing to Dwell in their Future Home; Fertility and the Blessing of Children; Health, Prosperity, and Joy; Peace, Unity, and Harmony in their Family Life.
- When the engagement is hard: Strength and Understanding during Tough Times; Protection against any Challenges that might test their Bond.
For a couple preparing together, Whom God Has Joined is a paid marriage preparation course of fifteen lessons on what to settle before the wedding, from money and family to faith and forgiveness. It has not opened yet.
If one of you has doubts as the wedding comes closer, you are not the first: many couples have doubts before marriage. For Scripture to read together, there are Bible verses for engaged couples, each with a note on when to use it.
Prayer for God’s Blessing to Dwell in their Future Home.
For the home the couple will set up after the wedding. It asks that the house be a refuge of hope, a sanctuary of faith and a haven of love, built on the solid ground of God’s Word.
Heavenly Father,
In Your infinite grace, look kindly upon this engaged couple as they stand on the threshold of their new life together. As they seek Your blessings for their future home, may Your love be the light that fills each room, guiding them through days of joy and challenge alike.
Lord, bless their home with peace that surpasses understanding, so that in the quiet moments and the bustling ones, they feel Your presence. Let it be a refuge of hope, a sanctuary of faith, and a haven of love. May its walls echo with laughter, its rooms hold stories of Your greatness, and every door open to opportunities for growth and grace.
Grant them the wisdom to build their lives on the solid ground of Your Word, ensuring that though storms may come, their bond will remain unbreakable. May their love for each other reflect Your love for them — endless, pure, and unfailing.
We ask that their home be filled with Your Spirit, nourishing their souls and those of all who enter. Through every season, let their love be a testament to Your eternal blessings.
Amen.
The psalmist puts the same truth in one line: “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1).
Prayer for Fertility and the Blessing of Children in their Family.
For a couple who hope for children. It opens in the couple’s own voice and then prays for them, asking for health for them and their future children and trust in God’s timing.
Heavenly Father,
We come before You with hearts full of dreams and desires to expand our family. We humbly ask for Your blessing on this loving union, that it may be fertile ground for the seeds of life You wish to plant. Grant us the grace to embrace Your will with open hearts, trusting in Your perfect timing and providence.
Lord, bless them with the joy of children, that their home may echo with laughter and their lives be enriched with the lessons and love only a child can bring. Just like the first blooms of spring that signal new beginnings, let their journey into parenthood be a testament to Your endless grace and generosity.
We pray for health and strength for them and their future children, that they may grow in a home filled with love, faith, and devotion. Guide them through the challenges and joys of raising a family, always reminding them of the infinite love You have for each of Your children.
Amen.
When Rebekah left home to marry Isaac, her family gave her a blessing of the same kind: “Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions” (Genesis 24:60).
Prayer for their Engagement to be a Foundation of Love, Trust, and Respect.
For the start of an engagement. It asks that the couple’s bond rest on love, trust and respect, and that the engagement be a season of growth.
Heavenly Father,
In Your wisdom, You have brought two hearts together, embarking on a sacred journey of engagement. We pray that their bond may be firmly grounded in love, rich in trust, and unwavering in mutual respect. May their love for each other reflect Your love for us—patient, kind, and enduring.
Guide them, Lord, to build their relationship on the solid rock of faith, where trust is their compass and respect their shelter. In moments of doubt or challenge, remind them of this foundation, strengthening their confidence in each other and in Your divine plan.
Bless their engagement as a season of growth, where they learn to love deeply, trust wholeheartedly, and respect powerfully. Let their journey illuminate the path to a marriage that glorifies You in every word and deed.
Amen.
Its picture of a love that is patient, kind and enduring comes from Paul: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind”, and it “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7).
Prayer for Blessing their Journey towards Becoming One in Spirit.
For a couple preparing to share a life of faith. It asks that their union reflect the unity of Christ with his Church and that nothing turn their gaze from God.
Heavenly Father,
We come before You today to ask for Your unending blessings on this loving couple as they prepare to unite their lives. In the landscape of creation, You have masterfully designed the union of two souls to reflect Your glory and love. As they embark on this sacred journey towards becoming one in spirit, shower them with Your grace.
Guide them with Your wisdom, that they may walk hand in hand with hearts aflame with love and understanding. Let their spirits intertwine with strength and gentleness, patience, and passion, embodying the unity of Christ with His Church. May their love for each other mirror Your love for us—endless, forgiving, and renewing.
Bless their path with light, removing obstacles that may divert their gaze from You. Teach them to lean on You and each other during trials, and to rejoice with You in their triumphs.
In Your loving kindness, mold their hearts to be reflections of Your divine love, so that through their union, the world may see the beauty of Your eternal promise of love and companionship.
Amen.
The prophet Amos asked a question any couple can take as their own: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).
Prayer for Health, Prosperity, and Joy in their Life Together.
It asks for good health, work that fulfils, the wise and generous use of money, and a joy that rests on trust in God rather than on circumstances.
Dear Lord,
We come before You today to lift up this engaged couple embarking on their new journey together. May their path be blessed with robust health, allowing them to enjoy each day to its fullest and overcome any challenge with strength and grace.
Shower them, O Lord, with Your prosperity. Let their hands find the work that fulfills and enriches, not just materially but in spirit and purpose. Guide them to manage their resources wisely, to be generous, and to remember that every good gift comes from You.
Fill their lives with joy unspeakable. In moments of happiness, let their joy be a beacon of Your love and faithfulness. In times of trial, remind them that joy comes not from circumstances but from a deep, abiding trust in You.
Bless their union, Father, with the richness of Your love. May their love for each other reflect Your love for them—a love that is patient, kind, and endures all things.
Amen.
Its reminder that every good gift comes from God is from the letter of James: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17).
Prayer for God’s Presence in their Life and Future Marriage.
A blessing for the day the engagement is announced or for the party. It asks that God’s presence be the cornerstone of the couple’s relationship and of the marriage to come.
Heavenly Father,
In Your boundless grace, we come before You today, lifting up this engaged couple embarking on life’s most beautiful journey together. Lord, as they intertwine their hearts and dreams, may Your presence be the cornerstone of their relationship and future marriage. Like a lighthouse guiding ships through stormy seas, let Your light illuminate their path, guiding them in love, patience, and understanding.
Bless them with the wisdom to recognize Your guidance in every decision they make and the courage to follow where You lead. Encircle them with Your protection, keeping their bond strong against the winds of adversity. May their love for each other be a reflection of Your endless love for them, growing deeper with each day that passes.
Grant them the grace to nurture a relationship that brings glory to Your name—a testament to the power of faith, hope, and love. Let their life together be a beacon of Your eternal love, inspiring all who know them.
Amen.
A psalm of blessing for every journey goes with it: “The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore” (Psalm 121:8).
Prayer for Strength and Understanding during Tough Times in their Marriage.
For a hard stretch, whether in the engagement or in the marriage that follows: misunderstanding, fear or distance. It asks for patience, wisdom and a love that grows deeper roots in dry times.
Heavenly Father,
In the sacred garden of marriage, where love is sown and hope blooms, we seek Your grace. As this couple walks hand in hand, may they find Your strength woven into the fabric of their unity, especially when shadows lengthen and the path grows uncertain.
Grant them the lamp of understanding to illuminate misunderstandings and fears, turning obstacles into stepping stones. Clothe them in patience, that they may endure the storms, and in wisdom, to discern the lessons hidden within trials. Let their love be a testament to the power of faith, growing deeper roots in times of drought.
In moments of weakness, be their fortress; in times of division, be their bridge. May their joint journey reflect the resilience of Your love, teaching them that every challenge overcome together adds a new chapter of grace to their story.
Amen.
Ecclesiastes gives the reason two are stronger than one: “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Prayer for Protection against any Challenges that might test their Bond.
Written in the couple’s own voice, for the two of them to pray together. It asks God to shield their bond and to turn obstacles into chances to grow closer.
Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, united in love and purpose, embarking on this sacred journey towards marriage. We humbly ask for Your protective embrace around us, shielding our bond from the tempests that may seek to test us. In the face of trials, grant us the grace to anchor our relationship in You, turning challenges into stepping stones that strengthen our unity rather than fragments that drift us apart.
Lord, imbue us with wisdom to perceive obstacles as opportunities to grow closer and fortify our commitment. May our love, rooted in Your divine example, be a beacon of light guiding us through dark moments. Let patience, understanding, and unwavering support be the pillars of our bond, ensuring no hardship can sway our dedication to one another.
Amen.
Paul’s short rule for hard times suits it: “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer” (Romans 12:12).
Prayer for Selfless Love and Commitment toward Each Other.
It asks for a love that puts the other first, listens more than it speaks and keeps no score. It closes by asking the saints who have gone before in love to pray for the couple.
Heavenly Father,
In Your infinite wisdom, You created love as a mirror of Your boundless, self-giving nature. As these two hearts prepare to unite in a sacred journey, we ask for Your blessing to instill in them a love that reflects Your own: selfless, enduring, and ever-giving.
Grant them eyes that truly see each other, beyond the surface, to appreciate the powerful beauty of selfless love. May their commitment be as steadfast as the mountains—unshaken by the winds of trial, and as deep as the oceans—endlessly renewing itself in grace and forgiveness.
Bless their path with the light of understanding and patience, teaching them to put each other first, to listen more than they speak, and to love without keeping score. In moments of challenge, remind them of this sacred promise to walk hand in hand, not led by self-interest, but guided by mutual sacrifice and devotion.
Through the intercession of all the saints who have gone before us in love, we place this prayer before You, confident in Your mercy and love.
Amen.
Paul asked the same of a whole church: “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” (Philippians 2:4).
Prayer for Wisdom and Guidance in their Joint Decisions.
For the many decisions of an engagement: the wedding itself, where to live, money and work. It asks for clarity to discern God’s will and courage to follow it.
Heavenly Father,
In Your infinite wisdom, You have brought these two hearts together, embarking on a journey of unity, love, and commitment. As they stand on the precipice of this new chapter in their lives, we humbly ask You to bless them with the gift of Your divine wisdom and guidance.
Illuminate their path, O Lord, with the light of Your truth, so that every decision they make may be infused with Your grace. Grant them the clarity to discern your will, the courage to follow it, and the strength to withstand any storm. May their choices reflect not just their desires, but Your eternal love and wisdom.
In moments of uncertainty, remind them that You are their steadfast guide. Let their hearts be attuned to Your whisper, turning to You as their ultimate source of direction and peace. Together, may they build a life that glorifies Your name, hand in hand, with You leading the way.
Amen.
Proverbs gives the promise behind it: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Prayer for Peace, Unity, and Harmony in their Family Life.
For the two families a marriage joins. It asks for respect and forgiveness when the couple disagree, and for bonds of love between their families.
Heavenly Father,
In Your boundless wisdom and grace, You have brought two souls together, embarking on a sacred journey of love and commitment. We pray for Your blessing upon their engagement, that it may be the foundation of a family life filled with peace, unity, and harmony. Let their home be a sanctuary of love, where patience flourishes and understanding blooms.
Lord, guide them through the complexities of life with a steady hand and a compassionate heart. May they navigate the waters of disagreement with the anchor of respect and the sails of forgiveness. Bless their families, merging them with bonds of love and mutual respect, as threads in a beautiful landscape, distinct yet part of a grander design.
Encourage them, O God, to nurture a family rooted in the teachings of Christ, where love is the language spoken in abundance and peace the air they breathe. May their union inspire those around them, shining as a beacon of Your divine love and unity.
We ask this in Your Holy Name,
Amen.
A psalm sings of the same gift: “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1).
Prayer of Thanksgiving for their Love and Union.
A thanksgiving for the couple’s love, for the engagement party or the day the news is shared. It thanks God for being their foundation and asks for patience, wisdom and grace.
Dear Heavenly Father,
We approach Your throne of grace with hearts brimming with gratitude. Today, we celebrate the gift of love and union You have bestowed upon this beloved couple. Like rivers merging into a single course, their paths have been divinely guided to intertwine, crafting a landscape of companionship that mirrors Your love for us.
We thank You, Lord, for being their foundation, for every moment of laughter and even the tears from which they draw closer, building their fortress of faith. May their love for each other continue to flourish, rooted in the soil of Your unwavering love and nurtured by the sunshine of Your blessings.
Bless them, O God, with patience to weather storms, wisdom to cherish peace, and an abundance of grace to forgive and forge forward. May their union glorify You, as they grow together in love, reflecting Your grace and kindness to the world.
In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen.
And for the day itself, a line from the psalms: “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).
Related reading
- Christian Wedding Vows: The Traditional Words and What They Mean
- Prayers for Couples to Pray Together, from Wedding Prayers to Hard Days
- 18 Bible Verses for Couples: Love, Respect, Arguments and Daily Life
- Prayers for Fertility and Conceiving a Child: Hannah’s Prayer, Short Prayers and Saints
- 12 Prayers For Wedding Day: Simple & Powerful
- Prayers for a Newly Married Couple: Blessings for the Bride and Groom
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