Are Wedding Rings Biblical? The Bible Neither Commands nor Forbids Them

No verse in the Bible commands Christians to wear a wedding ring, and none forbids it. Scripture never describes a ring given at a wedding. The custom goes back at least to Roman betrothal. Most churches took it up and now bless the ring with prayers of their own, and a few, such as the Amish, go without.

Yet the Bible is full of rings, and nearly every one says the same thing: you belong. A servant puts a ring on Rebekah on the way to her wedding. A king puts his ring on Joseph’s hand. A father runs to his lost son and calls for “a ring on his hand.” And the bride in the Song of Solomon asks for something close to what couples mean by a band of gold: “Set me as a seal upon thine heart.” Scripture also warns us against dressing to be admired, and Christians have weighed both kinds of passage whenever they asked whether a ring belongs on a believer’s hand.

Where do rings appear in the Bible?

The first is a gift to a bride. When Abraham’s servant went to find a wife for Isaac, he “took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold” (Genesis 24:22). Telling the story later, he says, “I put the earring upon her face” (Genesis 24:47). The Hebrew word, nezem, means a ring, and the Hebrew of verse 47 says he put it on her nose. These were gifts from the groom’s household to the bride, not rings the couple exchanged.

Then come the signets, rings that carried a king’s own authority. “Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph’s hand” (Genesis 41:42). The king of Persia gave his ring to Haman and later to Mordecai, and with it the power to act in his name (Esther 3:10; 8:2). Through the prophet Haggai, God promised to make Zerubbabel “as a signet: for I have chosen thee” (Haggai 2:23). To wear the ring was to be trusted with the name.

The tenderest ring is in Jesus’ parable. The son who wasted everything comes home hoping to be a servant, and his father says, “Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet” (Luke 15:22). The ring tells the whole house he is a son again.

The Song of Solomon speaks of a seal rather than a ring: “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death” (Song of Solomon 8:6). Even so, no verse comes closer to what a couple means when they put on their rings.

Scripture also warns against display. Isaiah lists “The rings, and nose jewels” among the finery the Lord will take away from the haughty “daughters of Zion” (Isaiah 3:16-21). Paul asks that women dress “in modest apparel … not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” (1 Timothy 2:9), and Peter warns against an adorning of “wearing of gold” (1 Peter 3:3). James pictures “a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel” coming into the assembly (James 2:2), and he rebukes those who give the rich man the good seat and tell the poor man to stand (James 2:3).

None of these passages is about a wedding. The warnings in Isaiah, Paul and Peter are aimed at vanity and display, and most churches hear them as a call to modest dress that leaves room for a plain band. A few hear them more strictly and go without rings altogether. The same verses bear on wearing jewellery of any kind.

Where did the wedding ring come from?

From Rome, as far as anyone can prove. Giving a ring to a bride-to-be may have started with the ancient Egyptians, Britannica’s history of wedding rings says, but the earliest concrete evidence comes from the Romans. Pliny the Elder described the custom in his Natural History: “even at the present day, an iron ring is sent by way of present to a woman when betrothed, and that, too, without any stone in it.” In the early Republic most rings were iron, and gold rings were kept for certain classes until the privilege slowly widened.

The ring finger has an old story behind it. The Roman writer Aulus Gellius had heard that the ancient Greeks wore a ring “on the finger of the left hand which is next to the little finger,” and that Roman men were said to do the same. He gave the reason as he found it in the Egyptian History of Apion: dissection in Egypt had shown that “a very fine nerve proceeded from that finger alone” and “made its way to the human heart.” Macrobius, a later Roman writer, told the same story, and passed on a plainer one from the jurist Ateius Capito: rings moved to the left hand, which does less work, so that their costly stones would not break, and the fourth finger was chosen as the one least in the way. Both men speak of a nerve. Later writers made it a vein, the vena amoris or vein of love, and modern medicine, Britannica notes, has found no such vein. Scripture says nothing about it.

Two early Christian writers mention rings in passing. Tertullian of Carthage, in his Apology, looked back to the plainer Roman women of an earlier age, who wore no gold “save on the finger, which, with the bridal ring, her husband had sacredly pledged to himself.” He was praising old Roman modesty, and the betrothal ring is simply part of that life. Clement of Alexandria, in The Instructor, allowed a Christian woman “a finger-ring of gold. Nor is this for ornament, but for sealing things which are worth keeping safe in the house.” He even told Christians what to engrave on a seal: “either a dove, or a fish, or a ship scudding before the wind, or a musical lyre” or an anchor. They “are not to delineate the faces of idols.”

In the Eastern Roman Empire, goldsmiths put the faith on the marriage ring itself. A seventh-century Byzantine gold ring in the Victoria and Albert Museum in London is engraved with “Christ joining the hands of a husband and wife”, and the museum places it among “a group of several dozen similar gold rings which combine Christian imagery with the figures of a couple”. The couple wore their marriage as Christ’s own work. In the West, Britannica dates the ring’s place in the church’s wedding service to the twelfth century.

In the United States, the groom’s ring is younger than most people think. Jewellers tried to sell American men engagement rings in the 1920s and failed. In the 1940s they promoted the “double ring” ceremony instead, and soldiers going to war wore wedding rings as a link to their wives at home. The historian Vicki Howard, in a 2003 study summarised by JSTOR Daily, found that 15 percent of American couples used two rings at the end of the Depression and 80 percent by the late 1940s.

Are wedding rings pagan?

No. The ring is older than the church, and it came from Roman custom, but Pliny describes it as a gift sent to a woman when she was promised in marriage, with no god or rite of worship attached. A custom’s age does not make it an act of worship, and the early Christians who mention rings did not treat it as one. Clement cared only about what was engraved: a dove or an anchor, yes; the face of an idol, never. Then the churches filled the ring with Scripture, as their prayers over it show. If you still feel uneasy, you are free to go without one, as several churches have done.

How do churches bless wedding rings?

Most churches give the ring a place in the wedding itself, and what they say over it tells you what they believe it means.

In the Catholic Order of Celebrating Matrimony, the couple first give their consent. The priest then asks the Lord to bless “these rings, which you will give to each other as a sign of love and fidelity,” and each spouse places a ring on the other’s ring finger. In one form of the English text each says, “receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity,” in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The Orthodox prayer gathers up the rings of the Bible one by one. The rings belong to the Service of Betrothal, which comes before the crowning. The priest blesses the couple with the rings, declares three times over each that the two are betrothed, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and “places the rings on their right hands”; then the rings are exchanged. His prayer begins with Abraham’s servant, sent “to bring back a wife for his lord Isaac,” and walks on through Scripture: “By a ring power was given to Joseph in Egypt; by a ring was Daniel glorified in the land of Babylon.” It names Tamar, whose pledge from Judah was his signet (Genesis 38:18), and the father’s ring for the prodigal son. So the couple stand inside the whole story. The crowns and the common cup follow in the second part of an Orthodox wedding.

The Book of Common Prayer of 1662 has the man lay the ring on the prayer book. The priest hands it back to him “to put it upon the fourth finger of the Woman’s left hand,” and he says: “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.” In this older English, “worship” means to honour. The prayer that follows remembers Rebekah too. It asks that “as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together,” so this couple may keep their vow, “whereof this ring given and received is a token and pledge.” The Church of England’s modern service, Common Worship, allows one ring or two, and in place of “worship” each says, “With my body I honour you.”

Other Protestant services vary from church to church, and the traditional Christian wedding vows set out the ring words of several of them beside the promises. If you are still planning your service, you can prepare for the marriage itself with Whom God Has Joined, a course for engaged couples.

What does a wedding ring symbolize for Christians?

The Bible gives the wedding ring no meaning of its own, so it takes its meaning from the vow it marks. On that the churches speak almost with one voice. The Catholic rite calls the rings “a sign of love and fidelity.” The 1662 Prayer Book calls the ring “a token and pledge” of the vow, and Common Worship prays that the rings be “a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they have made this day.” The Orthodox prayer speaks of a pledge: “Thou, O Lord, hast declared that a pledge should be given and confirmed in all things.” Behind all of them stands Jesus’ word on marriage: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). The ring is small. The promise it carries is not.

If you want Scripture engraved inside the band, two short verses fit. One is “Set me as a seal upon thine heart” (Song of Solomon 8:6). The other is Ruth’s “whither thou goest, I will go” (Ruth 1:16), though Ruth first said it to her mother-in-law, Naomi, and not to a husband.

Which Christians leave out the wedding ring?

Some churches have kept the warnings against adornment more strictly than the rest. Amish couples do not wear wedding rings, and Amish custom rules out most jewellery; as Amish America explains, “Jewelry is seen as drawing attention to the body and thus encouraging pride.” In many Amish communities a man begins to grow a beard when he marries, and that, with dress and head covering, shows who is married. The early Anabaptists, from whom the Amish and Mennonites descend, became known by “plainness of dress: no jewellery, lace, etc.”, in the words of the Global Anabaptist Mennonite Encyclopedia Online. Among Holdeman Mennonites, a conservative Mennonite church, the women “wear modest dresses but no jewelry,” according to Third Way.

Quakers leave the ring out of the ceremony itself. They marry by spoken declarations in a meeting for worship, and rings are optional. Britain Yearly Meeting’s Quaker Faith & Practice puts it simply: “Wedding rings play no formal part in Quaker marriages, but many couples like to give each other rings after they have made their declarations.”

In England the ring was once argued over. The Millenary Petition of 1603, presented to King James I by ministers who wanted further reform of the Church of England, asked “that divers terms of priests, and absolution, and some other used, with the ring in marriage, and other such like in the book, may be corrected.” The ring stayed: the Prayer Book of 1662 still has the groom give it.

Why do some Adventists not wear a wedding ring?

Seventh-day Adventists have long taught plain dress without jewellery, and in North America that long meant no wedding band. In 1925 the church’s Autumn Council resolved to “look with disfavor upon the ring ceremony,” the giving of a ring at the wedding; that action spoke of the ceremony, not of wearing a band. Ellen G. White, whose writings Adventists hold in high regard, had written in 1892, “Not one penny should be spent for a circlet of gold to testify that we are married.” In the same passage she showed real gentleness: “In countries where the custom is imperative, we have no burden to condemn those who have their marriage ring; let them wear it if they can do so conscientiously.”

The church’s later rules kept both sides of her counsel. From 1951 to at least 1986 the Church Manual said: “In some countries the custom of wearing the marriage ring is considered imperative, having become, in the minds of the people, a criterion of virtue, and hence is not regarded as an ornament. Under such circumstances, we have no disposition to condemn the practice.” In 1972 a statement of the General Conference officers counseled ministers not to perform ring ceremonies, while providing for the baptism of converts who felt in conscience that they should wear a simple ring. In 1986 the North American Division’s Annual Council said that members who see “a simple marriage band” as “a symbol of faithfulness to the marriage vow” should be “fully accepted in the fellowship and service of the church.” So an Adventist without a ring is keeping a long caution against jewellery, and since 1986 the North American Division has said that one who wears a plain band should be fully accepted.

Which hand do Christians wear the wedding ring on?

There is no single Christian rule; the hand follows a church’s rite and a country’s custom. The Church of England’s services put the ring on the fourth finger of the left hand. The Orthodox betrothal service places the rings on the right hand. The Catholic rite names only the ring finger.

In the Netherlands the hand once told your church. Writing in the Dutch Reformed daily Reformatorisch Dagblad in 2010, Michiel Kerpel reported that the difference very probably goes back to the Reformation: Stefaan Top, a folklorist at the Catholic University of Leuven, said a ring on the right hand was a mark of Protestants and that Catholics wore it on the left. Many Dutch people now wear it on the left whatever their church, the same article found.

No church rule governs an engagement ring either, in the Netherlands or anywhere else. In some countries one ring serves for both: in Chile and Brazil, Britannica notes, engaged couples wear their rings on the right hand and move them to the left at the wedding. You can follow the custom of your church and country, or your own preference. Scripture leaves the hand to you and asks only for the heart: “Set me as a seal upon thine heart.”

Related reading

• Christian Wedding Ceremony Script: A Complete Sample to Read Aloud
• Christian Wedding Vows: The Traditional Words and What They Mean
• Orthodox Wedding Ceremony: The Betrothal, the Crowns and the Common Cup
• 19 Bible Verses for an Engagement, and Why Betrothal Was Already Binding
• How to Identify if an Amish or Mennonite Woman is Married
• Is Wearing Jewelry a Sin? No, but Peter and Paul Warn Against Showy Adornment