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Summary
- Short prayers for the betrayed spouse cover the first shock, a wife’s or husband’s affair, repeated lying, an affair that is not over, intrusive memories, bitterness, the decision whether to stay, forgiveness and hope.
- Psalm 55:12–14 describes betrayal by a close companion; Psalm 51, headed “when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba,” is a prayer of repentance for the spouse who strayed.
- The 1928 Book of Common Prayer supplies a prayer “For Guidance” (p. 595) and a marriage-service prayer that a couple may “live together in faithfulness and patience” (p. 303).
- Catholics ask the prayers of Saint Monica, whose husband was unfaithful; Orthodox Christians pray to the martyrs Gurias, Samonas and Habibus, called patrons of honorable marriage.
- Jesus names adultery as the exception to his teaching on divorce (Matthew 19:9); the Catholic Church allows separation but holds that the marriage bond remains, while Orthodox and Reformed churches allow divorce for adultery.
- A pastor or Christian marriage counselor can help; where there is abuse, the US National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, and each UK nation has its own helpline.
Bibliography (Click to show)
- Scripture quotations are from the King James Version (1611), text of Project Gutenberg eBook no. 10 (2 Samuel 12:13; Psalm 34:18; 51:1–4, 10–12; 55:12–14, 22; 103:12; Proverbs 3:5; Lamentations 3:22–23; Hosea 4:12; Malachi 2:14, 16; Matthew 5:32; 19:9; Romans 8:1; 12:21; 1 Corinthians 10:13; 2 Corinthians 10:5; Ephesians 4:31; Philippians 4:7; James 1:5, 14; 1 John 1:9). https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10
- English Standard Version, Psalm 51 (heading) and Malachi 2:16. BibleGateway. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+51%3A1-2%3BMalachi+2%3A16&version=ESV
- The Book of Common Prayer (Protestant Episcopal Church in the U.S.A.), Standard Book of 1928. The Solemnization of Matrimony, p. 303; Family Prayer, “For Guidance,” p. 595. PDF facsimile: https://www.artisticdailyprayers.org/uploads/3/0/1/6/30164961/bcp1928std.pdf
- Augustine of Hippo. The Confessions of St. Augustine, Book 9. Translated by E. B. Pusey. Project Gutenberg eBook no. 3296. https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3296
- Orthodox Church in America. “Holy Martyrs and Confessors Gurias, Samonas, and Habibus, of Edessa.” https://www.oca.org/saints/lives/1002/11/15/103304-holy-martyrs-and-confessors-gurias-samonas-and-habibus-of-edessa
- Orthodox Church in America. “Marriage.” The Orthodox Faith, vol. 2, Worship. https://www.oca.org/orthodoxy/the-orthodox-faith/worship/the-sacraments/marriage
- Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America. “The Stand of the Orthodox Church on Controversial Issues.” https://www.goarch.org/-/the-stand-of-the-orthodox-church-on-controversial-issues
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed. Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1997. Paragraphs 2380–2386. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P87.HTM
- Code of Canon Law (1983), canon 1152. https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann998-1165_en.html
- Westminster Confession of Faith (1646), chapter 24, section 5. https://thewestminsterstandard.org/the-westminster-confession/
- National Domestic Violence Hotline. https://www.thehotline.org/
- GOV.UK. “Domestic abuse: how to get help.” https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help
