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Summary
- Scripture asks Christians to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15) and to let their yes be yes and their no be no (Matthew 5:37).
- Jesus declined requests from crowds and from the scribes and Pharisees (Mark 1:38; Matthew 12:38–39), and Paul refused his friends’ pleas not to go to Jerusalem (Acts 21:12–14).
- Naomi urged her daughters-in-law to go home and gave them her reason plainly (Ruth 1:8–18).
- In a 1993 study of unrequited love, people who had been turned down often believed they had been led on and never clearly refused.
- The Catholic Catechism describes truthfulness as combining honesty with discretion (Catechism 2469), so a refusal need not list every reason.
Bibliography (Click to show)
- Scripture quotations from the English Standard Version (Ephesians 4:15, 25; Matthew 5:37; 10:14; 12:38–39; Mark 1:38; Luke 4:28–30; 5:15–16; Acts 21:12–16; Colossians 4:6; 1 Corinthians 16:14; Ruth 1:8–18; Proverbs 13:12; Romans 12:10, 18; Isaiah 53:3; 1 Peter 2:4, 7).
- Baumeister, Roy F., Sara R. Wotman and Arlene M. Stillwell, “Unrequited Love: On Heartbreak, Anger, Guilt, Scriptlessness, and Humiliation,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 64, no. 3 (1993): 377–394. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.64.3.377
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2469 and 2477. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P8I.HTM and https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P8K.HTM
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