Jehovah’s Witness Weddings: What Happens, Vows and Rules

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A Jehovah’s Witness wedding is simple. The ceremony, often in a Kingdom Hall, centres on a Bible talk of about 30 minutes by a Witness minister, then the couple’s vows, sometimes rings, and a prayer. Any reception is held elsewhere and may have a meal, music and dancing. Witnesses are taught to marry only fellow baptized Witnesses.

When jw.org explains what happens at a Witness wedding, it points within its first few lines to a village in Galilee: “Jesus attended such a feast in the city of Cana early in his ministry.” John tells it plainly. “There was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage” (John 2:1–2). Every church remembers that Jesus said yes to a wedding invitation, and the Witnesses build their own celebrations around the same table, with the Scriptures at the centre and a few customs set aside.

The heart of it is the talk. jw.org describes “the wedding talk, which is about 30 minutes long and delivered by a minister of Jehovah’s Witnesses,” a “warm and upbuilding discussion” of how the Bible can help the couple “have a lasting, loving, and happy marriage.” The verse behind it is Paul’s word to husbands and wives: “let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).

What follows depends on the country. Where the government authorizes Witness ministers to marry people, the couple exchange vows “toward the end of the talk,” may exchange rings, and the minister pronounces them husband and wife. Where the law requires a civil wedding, the couple marry at a government office shortly before the talk and may say their vows again in the hall, “in the past tense.” Either way, “the talk concludes with a prayer asking God to bless the newly married couple.” The ceremony “often includes music with themes based on the Scriptures,” and there is no food or drink in the Kingdom Hall itself.

Witnesses have a standard vow. The Watchtower printed it on 1 March 1996, saying that Witnesses had been using it “for some years”:

I —— take you —— to be my wedded (wife/husband), to love and to cherish (Bride: and deeply respect) in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian (wives/husbands), for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement.

The article added that “in some places there may be a need to use an adjusted version of this vow in order to comply with local laws,” but that “in most countries Christian couples use the above vow.” The bride adds three words, “and deeply respect,” an echo of Ephesians 5:33, though the article also says that “respect in marriage must be mutual.” The article took the phrase “for as long as we both shall live together on earth” as a call to share a life: “Serve God together. Study his Word together. Take time to walk together, sit together, eat together.” The vows other churches use, and where their words come from, are in Christian wedding vows.

“Many Witnesses choose to have their wedding ceremony in a Kingdom Hall if one is available,” jw.org says. The minister charges no fee, and “there is no charge for the use of the Kingdom Hall.” A reception always goes somewhere else.

Using the hall came with conditions, set out in April 2008 in Our Kingdom Ministry, the Witnesses’ monthly sheet for congregations at the time. These are the rules as printed in 2008. The couple were to write to the congregation’s service committee well in advance, and “the bride and the groom must be in good standing, living in harmony with Bible principles.” The elders approved any decoration and any change to the seating, and “only music selected from Kingdom Melodies or that is found in our songbook may be used.” Not everyone in the wedding party had to be baptized, but no one was to be included “whose lifestyle grossly conflicts with Bible principles.” The wedding “should be officiated by an appointed elder, if available,” and he would meet the couple beforehand “to inquire about their moral conduct during courtship.” Anyone married before had to show “that he or she is Scripturally and legally free to marry,” including “a copy of the final divorce decree.”

Yes. A wedding at a Kingdom Hall “is usually open to anyone to attend—both Witnesses and non-Witnesses,” jw.org says. The reception is by invitation, and the couple choose the guests.

There is no dress code, though the Witnesses “strive to follow the Bible’s direction to dress modestly and respectfully,” and “they appreciate it when others do the same.” Gifts are welcome: “Jehovah’s Witnesses are happy to give and receive wedding gifts.” What they avoid is “soliciting gifts or publicly announcing the names of the givers,” on the strength of Jesus’ words: “when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth” (Matthew 6:3). jw.org does not mention cash gifts, such as the envelope of money customary at weddings in Japan; what it rules out is asking for gifts and naming the givers. For a Witness friend’s other occasions, see how to give gifts to Jehovah’s Witness friends.

Rice, no. “In some places, people throw rice or something similar on the newly married couple,” jw.org says, believing “that this will bring the couple good luck, happiness, and a long life. But Jehovah’s Witnesses avoid practices connected with superstition.”

On toasts there are two dated statements. On 15 February 2007 The Watchtower wrote that “there are good reasons why Jehovah’s Witnesses do not share in toasting,” because the custom grew out of ancient drinking to the gods. jw.org’s wedding page, as read on 27 October 2026, says: “The Bible does not prohibit toasting or clinking glasses, but some couples may ask guests not to offer toasts in order to avoid stumbling others.” When the wording changed, the page does not say.

At the reception, couples “may choose to include music and dancing,” and if alcohol is served it is “in a moderate quantity and only to those who are of legal age to drink.” Even the wine has its precedent at Cana. As for anniversaries, “Witness couples decide for themselves whether or not to celebrate their anniversary.”

It is left to each Witness’s conscience. “Whether to be present at a certain wedding or not is a matter for personal decision,” The Watchtower wrote on 15 November 2007. A civil ceremony before a judge “may involve little more than witnessing a legal proceeding.” A wedding “held in a religious building or performed by a clergyman raises additional concerns,” because Witnesses “do not engage in interfaith activities, such as prayers, rituals, or ceremonies that are in conflict with Bible truth.” Some decide they can attend “as a quiet observer”; others stay away from the ceremony and come to the celebration afterwards. Children “should defer to their parents or guardians.”

If a Witness in our family stands silently through the prayers at our church wedding, or comes only to the reception, the article treats that as a decision of conscience. It urges Witnesses to explain their convictions “beforehand,” so that they “could spare your family and yourself much stress.” The article itself begins by granting that “it is understandable that a Christian would like to share in that joy.”

Not according to their teaching. Paul says a widow may marry “to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39), and he warns, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). The Witnesses read “only in the Lord” strictly: the command refers “not merely to a person who respects our beliefs but to one who shares and practices those beliefs as a baptized Witness.” So a Witness who wants to marry dates only a fellow Witness, and only when both are old enough and “free to marry,” since they hold that “the only valid basis for divorce is sexual immorality.” The way Witnesses court is covered in how Jehovah’s Witnesses date for marriage.

What if a Witness marries someone who is not a Witness? The Watchtower of 15 March 1982 called it a choice “to disregard that serious counsel.” Unless there was “some exceptional reason,” it said, Witness brothers in the congregation “would not want to solemnize such an unequal yoking,” and the Kingdom Hall would not be available for the wedding. The marriage itself stands: “For those already married to unbelievers,” a 2012 Watchtower says, “the Bible offers helpful counsel on how to make the best of a challenging situation.” Witnesses even advise against courting someone who is still studying toward baptism; in 2004 The Watchtower answered that question with “No, that is not wise.”

Other churches have their own rules for mixed marriages. In Catholic canon law, a Catholic and an unbaptized person cannot validly marry without a dispensation from the local bishop (canon 1086), and since Catholic diocesan lists such as Cincinnati’s and Baltimore’s do not accept a Witness baptism as valid, a Catholic who marries a Witness would normally need one.

The biggest difference is what the wedding is understood to be. For Catholics, marriage between baptized Christians “is a true sacrament of the New Covenant” (Catechism, 1617). In the Latin Church the bride and groom themselves “mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony,” and in the Eastern churches the priest crowns them (1623). The Witnesses speak of marriage as “God’s marital arrangement,” a gift from Jehovah going back to Adam and Eve, and they honour it with a talk, a vow and a prayer; their ceremony has no Communion and no set liturgy around it. The talk does the work that a sermon and a rite do elsewhere.

Yet both look back to the same feast. The Catholic Church, its Catechism says, “attaches great importance to Jesus’ presence at the wedding at Cana,” and sees in it “the confirmation of the goodness of marriage” (1613). The Witnesses open their own answer there. Whatever words we say at the altar or in the hall, the guest who matters most is the one who came to Cana and had the waterpots filled to the brim, and the words of the governor of the feast to the bridegroom are what every couple hopes to hear years later: “thou hast kept the good wine until now” (John 2:10).

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• Jehovah’s Witnesses and sex: only in marriage, then conscience
• Do Jehovah’s Witnesses get baptized?
• Orthodox wedding ceremony: the betrothal, the crowns and the common cup
• Are Jehovah’s Witnesses Christian?
• Are wedding rings biblical?
• What Do Jehovah’s Witnesses Believe?

More from this seriesUnderstanding Jehovah’s WitnessesSee all 44 articles