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Dutch The verses are grouped into four categories:
- The Call to Surrender Our Control to God
- The Anxiety and Futility of Worldly Control
- The Power and Peace of God’s Sovereign Control
- The Virtue of Spirit-Led Self-Control
The Call to Surrender Our Control to God
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Reflection: The human mind desperately seeks to create certainty to soothe its anxiety. We build intricate mental maps based on our own “understanding.” This verse calls us to a profound reorientation of the heart. To trust God is to release the exhausting burden of needing to have all the answers. It is a relational act, moving from the isolation of self-reliance to the profound peace of dependence on a trustworthy guide who sees the whole path, not just the next fraught step.
Matthew 6:34
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Reflection: Anxiety is fundamentally an attempt to control the future, to solve tomorrow’s problems with today’s limited resources. Jesus, with incredible emotional intelligence, validates the reality of present suffering (“each day has enough trouble”) while freeing us from the self-imposed tyranny of the future. This is a call to radical presence—to inhabit this day, this moment, entrusting the vast, unknown territory of “tomorrow” to the One who is already there.
Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Reflection: Stillness is the antithesis of the frantic grasping for control that defines so much of our inner life. This command to “be still” is permission to cease our striving, our mental machinations, and our emotional thrashing. In that quiet, surrendered space, we don’t just intellectually acknowledge God; we experience His divine reality in a way that recalibrates our entire being. Our small, controlling ego shrinks, and His magnificent, sovereign presence expands, bringing a peace that control could never offer.
Proverbs 16:9
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Reflection: This verse holds the beautiful tension between human agency and divine sovereignty. We are not passive, and our desires, dreams, and plans are a real part of our created identity. Yet, the desperate need to control the outcome of our plans leads to deep frustration and disillusionment. The emotionally and spiritually mature person learns to plan with an open hand, to pour their heart into a course while trusting that a wiser, more loving hand is ultimately establishing the final footfalls.
James 4:13-15
“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’”
Reflection: This passage directly confronts the arrogance embedded in our attempts to control time and outcomes. The feeling of being a “mist” is terrifying to the ego, which wants to feel permanent and powerful. The antidote is not fatalism, but a humble re-anchoring in reality. Acknowledging “If it is the Lord’s will” is not a sign of weakness; it is a profound act of emotional and spiritual honesty. It frees us from the pressure of pretending we are gods of our own destiny.
Isaiah 55:8-9
“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”
Reflection: A core source of our control issues is the belief that if we just think hard enough, we can figure out the “right” path that guarantees our desired outcome. This verse shatters that illusion. It invites us into a state of intellectual humility, to accept that the divine perspective is so vastly different and larger than our own that our attempts to fully grasp it are futile. Surrender, then, is not giving up on a problem, but entrusting it to a mind infinitely greater than our own.
The Anxiety and Futility of Worldly Control
Luke 12:25-26
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”
Reflection: Worry is the engine of control. It is mental energy expended in a futile attempt to manage uncontrollable variables. Jesus exposes the utter powerlessness of this emotional state. It feels productive, but it achieves nothing. There is a deep psychological freedom in accepting this truth: if our anxious striving cannot even control something as “little” as our own lifespan, the emotional energy we spend trying to control economies, relationships, and global events is profoundly misplaced.
Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Reflection: This verse presents a direct therapeutic intervention for the anxious, controlling heart. It replaces the closed loop of worry with the open channel of prayer. The act of “making requests known” externalizes the anxiety, handing it over. Crucially, it’s paired with thanksgiving, which reframes the mind away from what is lacking or feared and toward what is already secure. The result is not a promise of a controlled outcome, but of a guarded heart—a psyche protected by a peace that our own understanding and control could never manufacture.
Psalm 127:1-2
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to his beloved.”
Reflection: This is a poignant picture of burnout. The person who rises early and stays up late, driven by the need to secure and control their own provision and safety, is living in a state of “vanity”—a stressful, exhausting emptiness. The verse contrasts this with the profound gift of “sleep,” a symbol of trust and release. Sleep is a daily, biological act of surrendering control. God gives this rest to those who stop trying to be their own builders and guards, and instead trust in His provision.
Proverbs 27:1
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”
Reflection: Boasting is the audible expression of a heart that believes it has control. It’s a declaration of certainty about an uncertain future. This proverb serves as a gentle but firm reality check. The unpredictability of life is not meant to create terror, but to cultivate humility. When we internalize that we genuinely do not know what a day may bring, we are less likely to invest our emotional well-being in a specific, controlled outcome, making us more resilient and adaptable.
Jeremiah 17:5
“This is what the Lord says: ‘Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord.’”
Reflection: The impulse to control often leads us to place ultimate trust in fallible human systems, other people, or our own capabilities (“mere flesh”). This verse describes the internal state that results: a “cursed” condition of inherent instability and disappointment. When our sense of safety and well-being is dependent on things that can and will fail, our hearts live in a state of chronic vulnerability and bitterness. It’s a diagnosis of a soul that has sought security in the wrong place.
Proverbs 19:21
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Reflection: This verse acknowledges the teeming, creative, and often anxious inner world of human planning. Our hearts are plan-making machines. But when we fixate on our own plans as the only path to happiness, we set ourselves up for a painful clash with reality. True peace is found not in forcing our plans to succeed, but in aligning our hearts with the greater, prevailing purpose of God, trusting that His ultimate design is more robust and benevolent than our own fragile blueprints.
The Power and Peace of God’s Sovereign Control
Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Reflection: This is not a promise of a pain-free life, but of a purposeful one. It is the ultimate antidote to the fear that life is chaotic and meaningless. For the person wrestling with a lack of control, this verse offers a profound sense of security. It asserts that there is a master weaver at work, integrating even the darkest, most painful threads of our experience into a final tapestry that is “good.” This belief doesn’t remove suffering, but it infuses it with a hope that allows the heart to endure.
Daniel 4:35
“All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of a heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: ‘What have you done?’”
Reflection: After attempting to exert ultimate control, King Nebuchadnezzar has a moment of profound, sanity-restoring clarity. This is the confession of a megalomaniac who has finally found peace in his own smallness before the majesty of God. For the controlling personality, this verse can feel jarring, yet it is deeply healing. To accept that there is a power in the universe so absolute that our frantic maneuvers are insignificant is to be liberated from the crushing weight of believing everything is up to us.
Job 42:2
“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”
Reflection: This is Job’s final, exhausted, and enlightened cry after chapters of demanding answers and trying to make sense of his suffering. He sought intellectual control over his situation. Here, he abandons that quest. He moves from demanding to know why to simply trusting Who. This is the pivot point for any soul tortured by circumstances beyond its control. Peace arrives not when we get the explanation we want, but when we surrender to the character of the One whose purposes are unstoppable and ultimately trustworthy.
Isaiah 46:9-10
“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’”
Reflection: Our anxiety about the future stems from our inability to see it. We are trapped in the present moment, peering into a fog. God declares here that He stands outside of time, seeing the end from the beginning. Trusting in a God who has this perspective fundamentally changes our relationship with the unknown. We are not trusting in a blind force, but in a sovereign intelligence who has already seen the final page of the story and declared that His good purpose will be the final word.
Psalm 115:3
“Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.”
Reflection: This simple statement is a profound anchor for the soul. The controlling person is driven by the desire to make things go their way, to do what pleases them. This verse calmly and confidently re-centers the universe. It declares that ultimate control rests with a God who is not subject to our whims or anxieties. The emotional release comes from realizing that the world does not, in fact, rest on our shoulders. It rests on His, and He is perfectly capable of managing it.
Ephesians 1:11
“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will.”
Reflection: On a cosmic scale, this verse addresses our deepest fears of being accidental or meaningless. The desire for control is often a desire to create a life of significance. Here, Paul asserts that our very significance is not something we must frantically build, but something that has been lovingly planned by God. To believe this is to move from a “striving” identity to a “received” identity. Our place in the world is secure, not because of our control, but because of His purpose.
The Virtue of Spirit-Led Self-Control
Galatians 5:22-23
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Reflection: True self-control is not a product of white-knuckled willpower. This verse reveals its true source: it is a “fruit,” something that grows naturally from a life connected to the Spirit of God. This reframes the struggle for self-mastery. Instead of a battle of self-discipline waged in isolation, it becomes a process of relational abiding. As we cultivate our connection to God, the internal strength to manage our impulses, emotions, and desires emerges as a gracious gift, not a hard-won prize.
2 Timothy 1:7
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
Reflection: This verse beautifully dismantles the false dichotomy between power and control. Worldly control is often fear-based and leads to timidity. But the Spirit’s gift of “self-discipline” (or self-control) is born of power and love. It is the internal fortitude to act out of love and sound judgment, rather than reacting out of fear or unmanaged desire. It is the capacity to hold oneself in check not out of weakness, but out of a deep, Spirit-given strength.
Proverbs 25:28
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”
Reflection: This is a powerful, visceral image of psychological and spiritual vulnerability. A lack of self-control means there is no barrier between our core self and the destructive whims of our impulses, the intrusive thoughts of anxiety, or the harmful influence of others. We become emotionally and spiritually defenseless. Cultivating self-control is the work of building internal emotional “walls”—structures of resilience and regulation that protect the sacred inner space of the heart.
1 Peter 5:8
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
Reflection: Self-control here is framed as a vital protective measure in a hostile environment. A “sober mind” is one that is not intoxicated by unrestrained emotion, impulsive desire, or distracting passions. It is a mind that is clear, present, and regulated. This emotional and mental sobriety is what allows us to perceive spiritual and psychological threats clearly and to resist them effectively, rather than being “devoured” by our own unmanaged internal states.
Proverbs 16:32
“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”
Reflection: Our culture celebrates external control—the conquest, the victory, the “taking of a city.” This verse radically reorients our value system. It declares that the internal victory—the mastery of one’s own spirit, temper, and impulses—is a greater achievement than external dominance. It honors the quiet, immense strength required to regulate one’s own heart over the loud, visible strength required to conquer others. True power is not controlling the world, but controlling oneself.
Titus 2:11-12
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”
Reflection: This passage reveals the ultimate motivator and teacher of self-control: grace. We often think of grace as mere pardon, but here it is an active, instructional force. The experience of unmerited love and acceptance from God is what empowers us to say “No” to the very impulses that once controlled us. It’s not the fear of punishment, but the transformative love of God that creates the desire and the ability to live a regulated, centered, and holy life.
