Prayers for Discerning a Vocation: Marriage, Priesthood, Religious Life and Work

A prayer for discerning a vocation asks God which way of life he wants, whether marriage, the priesthood, religious life, single life or a particular work. An old Catholic prayer for young people asks God to “be my light and my counsel in all my undertakings, particularly in the choice of a state of life.”

Churches use the word “vocation” differently: Catholics often mean a call to the priesthood or to religious life, while many Protestants call any honest work a calling.

Traditional prayers for discerning a vocation

Catholic, Orthodox and Anglican prayer books all have prayers for choosing a way of life or for light from the Holy Spirit. Each is quoted as printed.

Prayer for divine direction in the choice of a state of life

This Catholic prayer for young people asks God’s direction in “the choice of a state of life.” Lasance’s book, where it is printed, sets out three such states: marriage, religious life and unmarried life in the world. The two phrases in italics come from Psalm 143 (Psalm 142 in the Douay-Rheims Bible).

O Almighty God! Whose wise and amiable providence watches over every human event, deign to be my light and my counsel in all my undertakings, particularly in the choice of a state of life. I know that on this important step my sanctification and salvation may in a great measure depend. I know that I am incapable of discerning what may be best for me; therefore I cast myself into Thy arms, beseeching Thee, my God, Who hast sent me into this world only to love and serve Thee, to direct by Thy grace every moment and action of my life to the glorious end of my creation. I renounce most sincerely every other wish, than to fulfil Thy designs on my soul, whatever they may be; and I beseech Thee to give me the grace, by imbibing the true spirit of a Christian, to qualify myself for any state of life to which Thy adorable providence may call me. O my God! whenever it may become my duty to make a choice, do Thou be my light and my counsel, and mercifully deign to make the way known to me wherein I should walk, for I have lifted up my soul to Thee. Preserve me from listening to the suggestions of my own self-love, or worldly prudence, in prejudice to Thy holy inspirations. Let Thy good Spirit lead me into the right way, and Thy adorable providence place me, not where I may be happiest, according to the world, but in that state in which I shall love and serve Thee most perfectly, and meet with most abundant means for working out my salvation. This is all that I ask and all that I desire; for what would it avail me to gain the whole world, if, in the end, I were to lose my soul? and to be so unfortunate as to prefer temporal advantages and worldly honors to the enjoyment of Thy divine presence in a happy eternity?

Most holy Virgin Mary, take me under thy protection. My good angel guardian and patron saints, pray for me. Amen.

F. X. Lasance, The Catholic Girl’s Guide (1906), “Prayer for Youth to Beg the Divine Direction in the Choice of a State of Life,” pp. 611–612

The last two lines ask the prayers of the Virgin Mary, the guardian angel and the saints. Catholic and Orthodox Christians ask the saints to pray for them. Most Protestants pray to God alone and can end the prayer at “a happy eternity” with Amen.

Come, Holy Ghost: a Catholic prayer to the Holy Spirit for right judgment

The 1888 Manual of Prayers places this short prayer to the Holy Spirit at the start of morning prayer, evening prayer and the prayers before Mass. Its closing prayer asks for “a right judgment in all things.”

Come, Holy Ghost, fill the hearts of Thy faithful, and kindle in them the fire of Thy love.
V. Send forth Thy Spirit, and they shall be created.
R. And Thou shalt renew the face of the earth.

Let us pray.

O God, who by the light of Thy Holy Spirit didst teach the hearts of Thy faithful: grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things, and evermore to rejoice in His holy comfort. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

A Manual of Prayers for the Use of the Catholic Laity (1888), Prayers before Mass, pp. 89–90

Anglicans pray the same request in the collect for Whitsunday (Pentecost): “Grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things” (Book of Common Prayer, 1928, p. 180).

O heavenly King: the Orthodox prayer to the Holy Spirit

Many Orthodox services open with this prayer to the Holy Spirit. Isabel Hapgood’s 1906 English translation of the Orthodox service book prints it at the start of the Third Hour, among other places.

O heavenly King, the Comforter, Spirit of Truth, who art in all places and fillest all things; Treasury of good things and Giver of life: Come and take up thine abode in us, and cleanse us from every stain; and save our souls, O Good One.

Hapgood, Service Book of the Holy Orthodox-Catholic Apostolic (Greco-Russian) Church (1906), The Third Hour, p. 43

For guidance in doubts and uncertainties

This prayer from the family prayers of the 1928 Book of Common Prayer asks to be kept “from all false choices.”

O God, by whom the meek are guided in judgment, and light riseth up in darkness for the godly; Grant us, in all our doubts and uncertainties, the grace to ask what thou wouldest have us to do, that the Spirit of Wisdom may save us from all false choices, and that in thy light we may see light, and in thy straight path may not stumble; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Book of Common Prayer (1928), Family Prayer, “For Guidance,” p. 595

For more vocations to the ministry

Jesus told his disciples, “The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few; Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest” (Matthew 9:37–38). The 1928 prayer book turns that command into a short prayer.

O Almighty God, look mercifully upon the world which thou hast redeemed by the blood of thy dear Son, and incline the hearts of many to dedicate themselves to the sacred Ministry of thy Church; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Book of Common Prayer (1928), Prayers, “For the Increase of the Ministry,” p. 39

For the first stage of discernment, when nothing is clear yet and every road looks possible.

Lord God, you made me, and you know me better than I know myself. I am standing where the roads divide, and I cannot see far down any of them. Marriage, the priesthood or religious life, a single life, this work or that one: I do not yet know which you are asking of me. Your word says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not” (James 1:5), so I am asking. Give me honest desires and the honesty to read them. Keep me from choosing only to please my family or my friends, or to escape something that frightens me. Put wise people in my path and help me listen to them. Show me the next step, even if you do not show me the whole road, and give me the courage to take it when it is clear. I give you my future. Amen.

For someone who hopes to marry, who is courting seriously, or who is engaged and wants to be sure.

Father, at the beginning you said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18), and you have put in me a desire to marry. If marriage is your will for me, prepare me for it now. Teach me patience and honesty, and the kind of love that keeps its promises after the first feelings fade. If I have already met the person I may marry, let us see each other clearly, faults and all, and give us the sense to listen to the people who know us best. If we are not meant for each other, give us the grace to part kindly and soon. Keep me from marrying out of loneliness, pressure or fear of being left behind, and keep me from refusing a good marriage out of fear. Whatever you decide, let my life belong to you first. Amen.

For someone weighing ordination as a priest, deacon or pastor, in whatever form their church gives it. Churches differ on who may be ordained, and each tests its candidates in its own way.

Lord Jesus, you called fishermen from their boats and said, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). Some days I think you are calling me to serve your people as an ordained minister, and some days the thought frightens me. Show me whether this desire comes from you. Let my pastor, my bishop and the people who train candidates see me truly, and give them wisdom to say yes or no. Give me honesty about my weaknesses and my motives, whether I want to serve or only to be respected. If you are calling me, give me the humility to study, to be tested and to wait. If you are not, take away the restlessness and show me another way to serve you. Either way, keep me close to you in prayer. Amen.

For someone drawn to a religious order, convent or monastery, such as a woman thinking about whether to become a Catholic nun or a man drawn to an Orthodox monastery.

Lord, you said of the life given wholly to you, “He that is able to receive it, let him receive it” (Matthew 19:12). I am drawn to that life: to prayer at fixed hours, to poverty, chastity and obedience, to a community that belongs to you. I do not know whether the pull is your call or my wish to escape the world. Let me visit, ask questions and listen without hurrying. Give me a wise spiritual father or mother, and give the superiors who will judge my vocation clear sight. If you want me in a monastery or convent, give me courage to leave what I must leave and to tell my family kindly. If you want me elsewhere, let me take the love of prayer I have learned into whatever life you give me. Amen.

For someone who has not married, by choice or by circumstance, and wants to serve God where they are now.

God, I am single, and I do not know whether that is for a season or for life. Some days I am content and some days I am lonely. Teach me to see this life as a place where I can serve you now, rather than a waiting room. Paul wrote that the unmarried person “careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:32). Help me use the freedom I have for others: my family, my friends, my church, the people nobody else visits. Give me good friends and a home where others feel welcome. If you are leading me toward marriage, prepare me for it. If you are not, give me peace with that and keep bitterness away. Never let me think my life is worth less because no one has chosen me. You have chosen me. Amen.

For a student choosing a course, someone choosing or changing a career, or anyone who wants daily work to be service to God.

Lord, I have to decide what to do with my working life, and the choice feels enormous. You have given each of us different gifts. Show me what mine are and where they are needed. Give me honest advice from people who know my work, and the humility to hear it. Keep me from choosing only for money or status, and keep me from despising good, ordinary work that would feed my family. If I am in the wrong job, show me whether to stay faithful where I am or to go, and open the door if I should go. Your word says, “whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men” (Colossians 3:23). Let my work, whatever it is, be done for you and for my neighbor. “Establish thou the work of our hands upon us” (Psalm 90:17). Amen.

For the long middle of discernment, when the answer has not come or two good choices both seem possible.

Father, I have prayed about this for a long time, and I still do not know. Both paths look good to me, and I am afraid of choosing wrongly and wasting my life. Quiet my fear. Remind me that my “times are in thy hand” (Psalm 31:15), and that you can bring good out of an honest choice made in faith. If I need more time, give me patience and keep me faithful in the duties of today. If I need to decide, give me the courage to choose, and then the peace to stop looking back. Show me if I am waiting for a sign when you have already given me the light I need. “Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths” (Psalm 25:4). I trust you with the road ahead. Amen.

Parents can pray, advise and support, but the choice belongs to the son or daughter. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says parents “should be careful not to exert pressure on their children either in the choice of a profession or in that of a spouse” (paragraph 2230). Put the name where [name] appears.

Lord, [name] is trying to discern what you want for [his or her] life, and I want to help without getting in the way. You knew [name] before I did, and you love [him or her] more than I can. Give [name] a clear mind, good counsel and the courage to follow your call, whether it leads to marriage, to the priesthood or religious life, to a single life, or to work I would not have chosen. Keep me from pushing [him or her] toward the life I would like, and from holding on too tightly. Let our home be a place where [name] can talk freely and think aloud. Hannah prayed for her son and then gave him back to you. Give me her faith, so that I can say with her, “as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD” (1 Samuel 1:28). Amen.

For a parish, a family or a prayer group asking God to call people into his service.

Lord of the harvest, your people need shepherds, teachers and witnesses, and in many places there are too few. Call men and women from our parish and our families to serve you: as priests and deacons, pastors and missionaries, monks and nuns, and members of religious orders, and as faithful parents and workers who live their faith where they are. Give those who hear your call the courage to answer it, and families who encourage them. Bless the teachers, bishops and communities who train them, and keep them faithful in hard years. Strengthen those already serving you who are tired or discouraged. Make our congregation a place where a young person can hear your voice and answer with Isaiah, “Here am I; send me” (Isaiah 6:8). Amen.

Christians agree that God calls every believer. Paul urged the Ephesians to “walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called” (Ephesians 4:1). They use the word itself in different ways.

Catholics often use “vocation” for a call to the priesthood or religious life. Lasance’s 1906 guide for Catholic girls has a chapter on “The Signs of a Religious Vocation,” beside chapters on marriage and on unmarried life in the world. The Catechism of the Catholic Church uses the word more widely. It calls love “the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being” (paragraph 1604) and says that “the vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman” (paragraph 1603). It also asks the Church to care for single people, many of whom are single “often not of their choosing” (paragraph 1658).

Orthodox Christians honor marriage and also hold, in the words of the Orthodox Church in America’s Holy Synod, that “the Lord calls some men and women to a life of celibacy and virginity.” The same church calls the monastic calling “a personal gift of God to the individual soul.” A novice first lives in the monastery “under the direction of a spiritual father or mother” and makes a lifelong pledge only at a later stage.

Lutherans and many other Protestants speak of every honest station in life as a calling. The Augsburg Confession of 1530 complained that ordinary duties “according to each one’s calling,” such as “that the father brought up his offspring, that the mother bore children,” had been treated as “worldly and imperfect.” It says Christian perfection lies in faith and in being “diligent in outward good works, and to serve our calling,” and “does not consist in celibacy.”

Anglicans use both senses. The 1928 Book of Common Prayer asks that every member of the Church, “in his vocation and ministry, may truly and godly serve thee” (p. 156), and its catechism names among a Christian’s duties “to do my duty in that state of life unto which it shall please God to call me” (p. 289).

The boy Samuel heard God call three times and did not recognize the voice. The old priest Eli told him what to answer, and Samuel said, “Speak; for thy servant heareth” (1 Samuel 3:10). The 1888 Catholic Manual of Prayers refers to him in its prayer for choosing a state of life: “speak to me as Thou didst to the youthful Samuel” (p. 174).

Churches expect a calling to be tested by other people as well as by prayer. Lasance tells young Catholic women to seek a confessor’s advice “when it is a question of choosing a state of life, for this is the most important point you can have to decide” (p. 101). The 1928 Book of Common Prayer asks bishops to “lay hands suddenly on no man, but faithfully and wisely make choice of fit persons” for ordination (p. 38). In the Orthodox Church, the service of monastic profession includes formal questioning “about the authenticity of the calling.”

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• Prayers for God’s will
• Prayers for discernment
• Bible verses about God calling us to serve
• Bible verses about singleness