17 Bible Verses About Healing Relationships

Matthew 5:23-24

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Reflection: In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus has just placed anger with a brother or sister under the same judgment as murder (Matthew 5:21-22). The worshipper is told only that the other person “has something against you,” and Jesus puts the repair ahead of the offering, and the next verse applies the same urgency to a dispute on the way to court: “Settle matters quickly with your adversary.”

Matthew 18:15

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

Reflection: Jesus tells the person who knows of a brother or sister’s sin to go to them first. He sets the first conversation “just between the two of you,” and only if it fails do one or two others come along (18:16). A few verses later Peter asks whether forgiving a brother seven times is enough, and Jesus answers, “not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (18:21-22).

Genesis 33:4

“But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.”

Reflection: Jacob had taken the blessing Esau expected, and Esau had said, “I will kill my brother Jacob” (Genesis 27:41). When Jacob came home and heard that Esau was approaching with four hundred men, he prayed, “Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau” (32:11). Jacob bowed to the ground seven times as he came near; Esau ran to meet him, and the brothers wept together.

Matthew 5:9

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

Reflection: The blessing goes to those who make peace between people. The title it promises returns later in the same chapter, where Jesus tells his hearers to love their enemies and pray for their persecutors “that you may be children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45).

Romans 12:18

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Reflection: Paul puts two limits on the command: “if it is possible” and “as far as it depends on you.” The verses around it spell out what does depend on a person: not repaying evil for evil (12:17), not taking revenge (12:19), and feeding a hungry enemy (12:20).

Philippians 4:2

“I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.”

Reflection: Euodia and Syntyche were two women in the church at Philippi who, Paul says, “contended at my side in the cause of the gospel” (4:3). He pleads with each of them in the same words and asks a “true companion” in the church to help them. “Of the same mind” repeats his appeal in Philippians 2:2 to be “like-minded, having the same love.”

Philippians 2:3-4

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Reflection: Paul wrote this to the same church in which he pleads with Euodia and Syntyche to be of the same mind (4:2). The next verse gives the pattern: “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus,” and the passage that follows describes Christ, who “humbled himself by becoming obedient to death” (2:8).

1 Peter 3:8

“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

Reflection: “Finally, all of you” follows Peter’s instructions to wives (3:1) and to husbands (3:7), and turns to the whole church. The next verse names what these qualities rule out: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing.”

James 1:19

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Reflection: James gives his reason in the next verse: “human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Later in the same letter he asks, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1).

Proverbs 15:1

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Reflection: In the first line a gentle answer turns away wrath that is already there; in the second a harsh word stirs up anger. Three verses later the chapter returns to speech: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (15:4).

Ephesians 4:29

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Reflection: Paul measures speech by what the listener needs: words “helpful for building others up according to their needs.” Earlier in the same passage he writes, “In your anger do not sin,” and adds, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (4:26).

Proverbs 17:9

“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

Reflection: The second line shows what covering an offense is set against: the person who “repeats the matter” and so parts close friends. Five verses later the chapter adds, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out” (17:14).

Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Reflection: The verse before it lists what is to go: “bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (4:31). Forgiveness is measured by God’s forgiveness in Christ, and the next verse continues, “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children” (5:1).

Colossians 3:13

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Reflection: Paul expects grievances: the command applies “if any of you has a grievance against someone.” It belongs to a list of qualities believers are to “clothe” themselves with (3:12), and verse 14 puts love over all of them, “which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Reflection: Paul wrote this chapter to a church where, he had been told, “there are quarrels among you” (1 Corinthians 1:11), and whose members he reminds that God put the body together “so that there should be no division in the body” (12:24-25). He describes love by how it treats other people, ending with “it keeps no record of wrongs.” The passage is often read at weddings, though it was addressed to a whole congregation.

Malachi 2:15

“Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.”

Reflection: In Malachi 2:13 the people weep at the altar because God no longer accepts their offerings, and verse 14 gives the reason: “the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her.” The prophet calls the wife “your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant,” and verse 16 reads: “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect.”

Hebrews 13:4

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

Reflection: The command stands among the closing instructions of Hebrews, after “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters” (13:1) and before a warning against the love of money (13:5). “Honored by all” places the duty on the whole community as well as on the married couple.