19 Bible Verses About Grudges

Genesis 27:41

“Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, ‘The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’”

Reflection: Jacob has just taken the blessing Isaac meant for Esau, and Esau decides to wait until his father dies and then kill his brother. The Hebrew verb for holding a grudge in this verse is satam, to bear a grudge or cherish animosity. Rebekah sends Jacob away until Esau “forgets what you did to him” (Genesis 27:45). When the brothers meet again, Esau runs to Jacob, embraces him and weeps (Genesis 33:4).

Mark 6:19

“So Herodias nursed a grudge against John and wanted to kill him.”

Reflection: John the Baptist had told Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife,” and Herodias, that wife, held it against him. Mark’s Greek verb, enecho, means to hold a grudge or set oneself against someone. Herod protected John, so Herodias waited for “the opportune time” (Mark 6:21), which came at Herod’s birthday banquet, when her daughter asked for John’s head on a platter.

Genesis 50:20

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Reflection: After Jacob’s death, Joseph’s brothers ask themselves, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” (Genesis 50:15), and they send him a message asking forgiveness. Joseph weeps, asks “Am I in the place of God?” and gives this answer. He then promises to provide for them and their children, and the chapter says he “spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50:21).

Leviticus 19:18

“‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.’”

Reflection: The verb translated “bear a grudge” is natar, to keep or guard, so the law forbids keeping a wrong in store. The verse before it gives the alternative: “Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt” (Leviticus 19:17). The closing command, “love your neighbor as yourself,” is the one Jesus names as the second greatest in Matthew 22:39.

Ephesians 4:26-27

“‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Reflection: Paul allows that anger comes and sets a limit on it: it is to be settled before the day ends. A second command follows in the same sentence: “do not give the devil a foothold.” The surrounding verses concern life in a church, where “we are all members of one body” (Ephesians 4:25).

Ephesians 4:31-32

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Reflection: Bitterness heads the list of things to get rid of, alongside rage, anger, slander and malice. The replacement is kindness and forgiveness, and the measure of forgiveness is what God has done: “just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Reflection: A grievance is a complaint against someone. For the case where a member of the church in Colossae has one, Paul tells them to bear with each other and forgive, with the Lord’s forgiveness as the pattern. The verses on either side describe clothing: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience in verse 12, and over them love, “which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:14).

Psalm 103:9-10

“He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.”

Reflection: In the Hebrew, “harbor his anger” uses natar, the same verb Leviticus 19:18 uses for bearing a grudge. The psalm says God does not keep his anger in store and does not repay people as their sins deserve. Verse 12 adds how far he has removed their transgressions: “as far as the east is from the west.”

Mark 11:25

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Reflection: Jesus has just told the disciples to have faith in God and to believe they have received what they ask in prayer. He adds that anything they “hold against anyone” is to be forgiven while they stand praying, and he links it to their own forgiveness by the Father.

Matthew 6:14-15

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Reflection: Matthew 6:14-15 follows the Lord’s Prayer and returns to its petition “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). Jesus states the point both ways: forgiving others goes with being forgiven, and refusing to forgive goes with not being forgiven.

Matthew 18:21-22

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”

Reflection: Peter offers seven times as the limit, and Jesus answers with seventy-seven. The number matches Lamech’s boast of revenge in Genesis 4:24: “If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech seventy-seven times.” Jesus follows the answer with the parable of the unforgiving servant.

Matthew 18:35

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Reflection: The parable ends here. A servant is forgiven a debt of ten thousand bags of gold, then has a fellow servant thrown into prison over a hundred silver coins, and the master hands him over to the jailers until he pays everything back. The last words of the verse set the standard: forgiveness “from your heart.”

Matthew 5:23-24

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Reflection: In this case it is the other person who holds something against you, and Jesus tells the worshipper to leave the gift at the altar and go to be reconciled first. The verses before it put anger toward a brother or sister under judgment (Matthew 5:22), and the verses after it tell the hearer to settle matters quickly with an adversary on the way to court.

Proverbs 17:9

“Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

Reflection: The proverb sets two responses to an offense side by side. Covering it over fosters love, and repeating the matter, telling it again, parts close friends.

Proverbs 19:11

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”

Reflection: In this proverb patience is the fruit of wisdom, and overlooking an offense is called a person’s glory.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Reflection: The phrase “keeps no record of wrongs” uses logizomai, to reckon or count to someone’s account, the word Paul uses for crediting righteousness in Romans 4:3. Love does not hold a wrong on its books. Verse 7 continues the description: love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Matthew 5:44

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

Reflection: Jesus quotes a saying his hearers knew, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy” (Matthew 5:43), and extends love to the enemy and prayer to the persecutor. The reason he gives is the Father’s own practice: “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good” (Matthew 5:45).

Luke 23:34

“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’ And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.”

Reflection: Jesus says this at the place called the Skull, where he is crucified between two criminals. The prayer is for the people carrying out the crucifixion, and the verse records that they went on dividing his clothes by lot.

Romans 12:19-21

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Reflection: Paul leaves vengeance to God, quoting Deuteronomy 32:35, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.” In its place he sets feeding a hungry enemy, quoting Proverbs 25:21-22. Just before, he limits what one person can do toward peace: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).